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Challenge: Finding Your Village

To the Mom Who is Questioning Herself

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I hear you. I know you. You are not alone.

A Letter to My Daughter on Her First Birthday

When you feel overwhelmed by the struggles of daily life and motherhood, and you begin to question everything. You question every decision, not just current decisions, but every one that has come before now. You wonder about every habit that has been developed, and if it was the right thing to do. Is it good? Is it okay? Is it enough?

We've all been there. In fact, I am there right now. I am in the midst of questioning every decision I have made about sleeping and bedtime because nothing seems to be going right, right now.

I wonder if the things I started doing when she was just a newborn is affecting her ability to put herself to sleep and sleep through the night. I feel overwhelmed by the thought that I may not be able to reverse some of those decisions. Those decisions that I made as a brand new mom in survival mode. Should I have done more research? Should I have known better?

I look at friends who's children have been sleeping throughout the night at a way younger age than Livie is now. Babies that can just play in their crib and then fall asleep, or soothe themselves with a blanket or stuffed animal.

As I sit here after spending 1 and a half hours to put her down for a nap, I am questioning everything. I feel guilt, stress, and completely overwhelmed by these feelings.

When I start to feel this way, I try to remind myself of these things:

I am doing the best that I can with what I know right now.

My baby is healthy, safe, loved, and thriving, and really, that is what is most important.

That I am not alone. I can't possibly be the first mom to feel this way. I have a village.

Tomorrow is a new day, with more chances to make better decisions as I learn what works and what doesn't.

It is so easy to look at other moms on social media and think that they have it all together, and wonder why you don't. But we all know that for every pictures that looks like the one above, there at least 3 more that look like this:

To the Mom Questioning HerselfTo the Mom Questioning HerselfTo the Mom Questioning Herself

So as you muddle through some of these tough times as a mother, and you question if you are doing anything right, never question if you are alone. When you start to reach out to the support of your village, or even just share your feelings, you will find the support of those that are right there with you. You will probably find that there was no need to question yourself in the first place. My village helped my understand that I am doing what every other mom is doing, and that is fiercely loving our babies and trying to do the best that we can.

You are not alone, just like I am not alone. Reach out to your village.

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