Most days I feel like me.
On those days, I feel great.
On those days, I wonder if that decades-old diagnosis of depression is accurate.
On those days, I feel like being with friends.
On those days, I feel like getting out of bed.
On those days, I feel like working out.
On those days, I feel like eating healthy.
On those days, I filter out the negativity around me without much effort.
On those days, finding the positives is easy.
Then it happens.
The bottom drops out.
Maybe it’s my scale not moving quickly enough in the right direction. Maybe it’s an argument with my spouse or a friend. Maybe it’s something I feel guilty about as a parent. Maybe it’s the weather. Maybe it’s a scheduling error.
Maybe it’s nothing.
On those days, the darkness rolls in and hovers above me.
On those days, my motivation is so low that it takes almost all of my energy to do the simple things like get dressed, put on makeup, do my hair, talk to a friend, laugh.
On those days, I become a raw, open wound — super sensitive and vulnerable.
On those days, everything hurts — emotionally and physically — and everything is hard.
On those days, I am grateful for the tools I have to help the lows to not be so low.
On those days, I can find the energy for the people that rely on me, but the other stuff just doesn’t get done.
On those days, I give myself some grace and kindness.
If you have those days too, let me remind you that you are not alone.
You are seen.
You are heard.
Even on the darkest days.
On those days, ride the wave and trust that the dark days will pass.
They always do.
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