Leonardo Da Vinci said that the secret to life is curiosity. Once you stop becoming curious about things, your zest for life dies right along with you. I'm not talking about a physical death but a spiritual, emotional one. There seems to be no reason to live anymore. Your life that once had flavor and meaning seems pointless and dull. You long for adventure, for the unknown, for something new, anything different. And this longing doesn't leave. It isn't something you can wish away or try to stop thinking about. It stays with you until you make a change and that change usually comes drastically, in the form of a leaving behind and a coming forward.
I've never shied from moving to a new place. I grew up in a small town that an interstate doesn't even bother to touch but it was a great place to grow up. Places can be great places, they can be wonderful places that you never want to leave but when you have that blood to know and see more, nothing will make you stay.Nothing. Leaving has always been a somber time and arriving always joyful. Its the arriving that allows you to leave and the leaving that reminds you to be grateful. Grateful for the relationships that grew and the friends that were made, priceless moments that became beautiful memories.
But moving with children is different. Taking our children away from a place they knew like the back of their hand, friends that are close as family, that's a challenge. It almost seems cruel. And to assume mom and dad didn't cry in dark rooms alone at the thought of this departure would be incorrect. Mom and dad cried and felt guilt creep in slowly then all at once like a punch to the gut. It hurt, and some days in this new place, it still does. But these children were gifted to a mom that can't sit still and has an unconventional need to see and know and discover and learn and grow. Maybe this move was a good idea, maybe it wasn't, only time will tell. But for now, the new, the adventure, is what I have craved, what kept me curious, what kept my zest alive. My curiosity will always lie in the unknown.
We will tell you my husband got a new job and it was a wonderful opportunity for our family and that's true. But this move is partly the result of my unwavering internet searches for new places, new towns. Cute squares and green spaces, checking school scores and town events became my new hobby. I had to go. I would send him links to places I wanted to live, places to begin a new adventure and hospital systems he could become apart of. He would deny some and approve some and it was always in discussion. Always. And my husband, being the amazing man he is, would send his resume and fly to lands he knew nothing about to explore and learn and grow. The excitement in his voice when he did well interviewing will ring in my ears as will the seriousness of his tone when an offer was presented. A decision had to be made. To stay and always wonder or to go and perhaps regret. My dad has always said to regret the things in life you didn't do and never the things you did.
This new place and these new people are an everyday surprise. People I have never met tell me their story. And I tell them mine. My zest has been refreshed, I am renewed. My husband and kids are happy and that makes me happy. Moving to a completely new place where you only know each other is hard and challenging and sometimes full of sorrow when you think of those you left. But it also breathes life back into your soul while connecting you together with a renewed sense of purpose. You learn quickly what you and your family are made of. And this family is tough. Because those kids, mama, those small beings that you love and shelter and protect, they are strong and courageous and resilient.
They will surprise you.
And when you leave them alone on a bench the first day of a new school and the burn from the tears forming in your eyes creeps in, remember that. Remember that these children have your husbands blood which makes them valiant and confident and they have your blood which makes them fearless and spirited.
They will be just fine.
And if they are lucky, really lucky, they too will have something in their blood that makes them seek this old world and all its wonders.