Nobody listened to me today.
Not even me.
I didn't listen to the voice in my head and heart telling me
not to yell,
not to huff and puff,
not to grit my teeth,
not to growl,
not to escalate the situation,
not to respond with coldness,
not to lack understanding,
not to be a hypocrite,
not to roll my eyes,
and not to be a crappy parent.
I didn't listen to me.
And, surprise, surprise, neither did they.
Because in families, we lead by example, and well, I was a piss poor one today.
Not because I'm a bad mom.
Not because I don't care or am lazy.
And, not because I'm just not cut out for motherhood.
Today was a crappy day because, well, my kid's weren't displaying their best behavior and attitude and me, well, I've been burning the candle at both ends.
There may have been tears today -- theirs and mine, but, truth be told, there are most days.
Because parenting is hard, and so is being a child.
It's incredibly challenging to work your arse off 90% of the time with the sole goal of ensuring you raise good humans and to have to do that, while you, yourself, are trying to be one too.
Oh yeah, and go to work, pay bills, schedule and attend appointments, care for pets, do a gazillion loads of laundry and make sure your house doesn't smell or isn't coated in all things dog.
As I mentioned, nobody listened today.
But guess what?
Yesterday, they did.
And, yesterday, I was also a better mommy.
I do not doubt that our little circus of a family will have more days like today, but we will also have more days like yesterday.
And, the fact is, I'm uber-grateful for both because, at the end of each day, I lay myself down to bed and feel thankful for these pleasurable and less than moments which all teach me lessons and serve to help me improve into the better person and mother I long to be.
Check your ego, amigo, and be present enough each day to recognize your flaws.
And, if that inner voice is telling you to calm it down, slow down or take a break, listen to it, and then do whatever it is you need to do to wooozzzaahhh yourself a little bit closer to the ideal, compassionate and most authentic version of yourself.