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The fight of my life

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May is national Preeclampsia awareness month!!!!!Not many know about preeclampsia but it is a deadly and dangerous pregnancy complication that is also one of the leading causes of maternal and infant mortality and illness. That has no cure! With dangerous symptoms like uncontrollable high blood pressure, high levels of protein in your urine, swelling in legs and feet sometimes sudden, blurred vision, dizziness and gaining more then 4lbs a week. You can also get post partum preeclampsia which can occur anytime up to weeks after delivery. Be aware of the symptoms and listen to your body! With that being said since there is no cure no matter when in the pregnancy you get it you are highly monitored and usually hospitalized and if things stay elevated they have to deliver baby no matter no matter how many weeks you’re at. Some woman spend weeks even months in the hospital and still don’t get to come home with a baby! It’s a devastating thing to have! It can cause seizures, stroke, heart attack and can result in the loss of baby and mother! So many women some now friend of mine have lost their baby due to this but those aren’t my stories to tell by this is mine.
My story begins on June 5th 2017 the craziest most exciting happiest day of my life! Only in labor for a short amount of time and my epidural in full swing I had the most amazing labor it was actually enjoyable once getting the epidural of course! Pushing my baby out was the most amazing moment of my life it was a out of this world experience that was simply indescribable! With only a short amount of pushing there she was a beautiful perfect 7lb 8oz baby girl! I couldn’t believe all I could do was smile and admire her everything else around me was like a fogged window and I could only see her. As soon as they put her on my chest she immediately grabbed my hand and didn’t let go. It was then and there that our energy bonded together a energy that could never be broken. I spent all night just holding her and didn’t even put her down I couldn’t. The next few day was the start of the hardest battle I was ever going to face and I had no Idea.
The next 24hrs I was in the hospital I felt awful. I was insanely dizzy when I walked I felt like I was walking on waves, I had a bad headache and just felt all wrong even emotionally I felt frantic. The nurses assured me it was just because I didn’t get any sleep and I was a first time mom and it was just a lot to adjust too. I remember having a meltdown about this because I knew something was wrong and I knew what I was feeling was not from being a new mom with no sleep. They noticed my blood pressures were rising but still let me leave assuring me that it was just because I had just had a baby and to just keep an eye on it at home like I did the last few weeks with my hypertension. We got home as much sleep as you could with a newborn and boom blood pressure shot up to 180/99 I called my Ob who said “ Well it’s high but not too much higher then when you had the hypertension. Give it some time”. I was shocked but then the other Ob in the office called and told me to get to the er immediately and so I did. I was then diagnosed with Preeclampsia. I was there for 2 days with them trying to mix the perfect potions of medicine to get my vitals under control. Finally I was sent home with bps still slightly high by much better about 130/89. I remember having to hold the walks to walk out this day but the assured me my dizziness was from meds. We got lunch got home and I checked it as I was told and boom 170/90. I waited 5 minutes tops and check again thinking it would lower and as soon as I looked down my heart started racing 236/117! I started panicking knowing anything over 170/90 is seizure, stroke, heart attack and death range. My husband called a ambulance they immediately had him perform a stroke test on me and I just remember telling him to tell them to hurry. They checked when they got there bp was reading the same for them they loaded me on that white stretcher and told my husband because of the baby they could not ride with us! My heart broke. I remember when they closed that ambulance door it was like closing the door of a coffin to me. This is it this is how I go with my brand new few day old perfect baby and my frantic husband chasing behind this ambulance. All I could think is how so far at this point in my life I had got everything how I wanted married to the love of my life, pregnant as soon as we started trying and then a perfect labor and perfect new baby girl and now this. The EMTs kept asking me questions and their voices faded out I couldn’t listen I just started praying so hard. Harder then I ever had in my life. Finally we got to the hospital and the staff flocked in and yet again laid there. Just praying that I didn’t die there alone and that my family at least got there before I went. It was the worst feeling in the world my chest still sinks when I think and talk about it. Over the course of the next week I was out on meds that we’re supposed to help keep me from seizing but they completely paralyzed me to the point where I couldn’t even lift my head, blurred my vision so bad that I could not see and made me feel like I was dying. I couldn’t hold my new baby without someone helping, I couldn’t move, my mother even held the baby to my breasts so I could breastfeed. My husband and mom had to lift me and pick me and hold me up to use the bathroom, I couldn’t eat and I felt so helpless vitals eventually got better and better but the meds alone made you feel like you were dying. It was like I was rotting away in a prison cell. Once my vitals got better they took me off the meds and I could slowly start doing more but then I became angry and depressed with my body and the situation. I was supposed to be at home “like everyone else” adjusting with their new babies, making routines and taking turns sleeping. I thought I’d never get better and that I’d never leave that place. But I did and I’m a survivor. I definitely still have anxiety and PTSD from the situation but I have found so many women who have very similar stories to mine! I always felt alone because nobody I was close to could relate they didn’t understand and I have found ways to cope with it. I have my good days and my bad but unfortunately many others stories don’t end as well as mine and I remind myself that everyday. I’m so proud that my body went full term and waited until my angel was out before unleashing it fury.
We need more research and more people to be informed of the symptoms and treatment for preeclampsia. This is a great foundation to give to! And I encourage you to look up what Promise walks are in your area! Much love and too any of my fellow preeclampsia friends I’m always here! And a huge thanks to my husband who never left my side and took care of everythinng and my mother for never leaving my side! Couldn’t of done it without either of you! It was all worth is we now have the most beautiful, perfect little red head with thebiggest personality who will soon to be 1 years old ❤️



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