I honestly wasn't going to write this post. Last year I felt as though I finished our story about the worst night of our lives. But...it's been 5 years. And 5 years feels like a milestone. So here we are.
If you're new to our story, read these posts first:
- Part One: January 8, 2015
- Part Two: The Emergency Room
- Part Three: Surviving
- Part Four: Recovery and Rebuilding Our Future
It feels weird that it's already been five years. Yet at the same time, it feels like a lifetime ago, and just yesterday all at once. Our family has truly been through the unimaginable. It's the type of stuff you see on TV. It's not something that happens to you. Until it does.
I've learned a lot these past five years. The biggest being that the little things are really the big things.
Those small moments that you don't think will necessarily matter? Those are the moments that will fill your heart. When you think you'll never get to hug your babies again? That fills your entire being with more pain than your physical injuries could ever bring. You learn what matters in life. What really matters. It's not fancy cars or designer clothing. It's life. It's people.
The universe brings people into your life for reasons.
Since our accident five years ago, I've met some amazing people. People I have simply felt an immediate connection with. Initially I didn't think anything of it, but then I noticed a pattern. These people? They all have a story similar to my own. Whether it be an accident like mine, or a health scare, something traumatic has happened to them. And somehow, the universe connected us. It has happened several times, and each time it does, I thank the universe for introducing me to these people. These survivors.
Anniversaries are hard.
No matter how hard I try to brush it off like it's no big deal...anniversaries suck. The whole day just feels like a dark cloud surrounding you. My husband and I have agreed that maybe going forward, we should try to do something fun on January 8th. Something to bring us some happiness on that dark day.
But then when I think about it, shouldn't I BE happy? I survived. We all did. I begged, I pleaded, I prayed to survive. And I did. That in itself is a miracle.
These past five years have been hard. Recovery has been brutal. The truth is, I will NEVER be fully recovered. PTSD doesn't magically disappear, and unfortunately, neither does nerve damage.
But these past five years have also been some of the best years of my life.
So today I choose joy. I choose happiness. I am grateful. For every single day. Every single moment. Every single memory. Because I'm here to live it.
This is us today. Five years later.
Beyond happy. Beyond thankful. Beyond blessed.
Thank you for reading our story. Thank you for your support during some of the hardest times of our lives. We will forever be grateful.