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Challenge: Summer Fun

5 Things We Did to Embrace Summer With Our 12 Year-Old (Before She's Too Cool to Speak to Us)

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This summer has been an important one because our youngest child is twelve, so she's the only kid left in the house. (My stepchildren are in college.) Knowing that our daughter will be a teenager next summer, I acknowledge fully that I'm clinging to every little bit of childhood we can squeeze out before our daughter is entirely too cool to talk to us.

This year, due to some life changes, we didn't plan a big fancy family vacation, and we didn't sign up for very many camps. This was a gift that allowed us to focus on simpler things, and what we learned is that these are often the things that matter the most.

1. We met a turtle and named him Butter. Central Texas had some crazy flooding earlier in the summer, and after the rains, we discovered a mean little turtle in our back yard. Our daughter promptly named him Butter. My husband turned him on his back and laughed while he tried to flip over. My daughter grabbed her camera and practiced nature photography while Butter scowled. My daughter fed Butter some romaine lettuce, and we argued about whether we'd take him inside or let him live in the back yard. I won that argument, fearing our dog Taco would eat him, or worse yet, Butter would eat us. Butter stayed outside. By the next day, Butter had moseyed along, but for one day, we had a pet turtle and that was pretty fun.

2. We stayed up way too late and watched PG-13 movies. I know, I know, our daughter is 12. But do you know what? It's a lot easier to talk to your kid about sex when you frame it in the context of an extremely unrealistic PG-13 movie. Carving out quality time to explain some of the things our kids can just as easily see on primetime tv is really important. Plus, these conversations allow me to make the most of my grandmother Mabel's best line, "If you find yourself in the back seat of a boy's car and his hand starts to go up your leg, I want you to see my face!"

3. We totally screwed up on the summer reading. My teacher friends will cringe reading this, but so far, my daughter hasn't had her head in very many books. She is outside most of the day, swimming or jumping on the trampoline or skateboarding (skateboarding that resulted in our daughter's first and hopefully last broken arm). When I finally get around to nagging my daughter about reading, she reminds me she's online ALL THE TIME. I remind her that Instagram is only a picture book. She responds by reminding me that she is a math kid. I pick my battles and move on and nag her to put on shoes so we can go out to dinner. Maybe we'll all read more in August.

4. We gave her some freedom to be a little more independent. Parents, you don't have to breathe into a paper bag here; it's really going to be okay. If it makes you feel any better, this wasn't easy for me, either. We have to remember that when we were kids, we played outside until it was dark and we were okay. I'm not suggesting that you let your kid do anything out of your comfort or safety zone, but in my view, the only way our kids are going to learn to be savvy and safe is if we allow them the opportunity to be savvy and safe. In our experience, it's been a summer of growth and a little more independence. Just a little bit.

5. We connected with family, then made a priority to visit. Do you have those relatives that you only see on Facebook but tell yourself you want to go see in person? My cousin's oldest daughter has a toddler and a newborn, and I can't count the number of times I've seen their pictures on Facebook and said, "You know, we should just get in the car and go visit." So we did. We planned a very easy overnight and drove a few hours away to connect with our family, squeeze on the newborn, and chase the toddler, and it was a great experience for all of us. My daughter not so gently pointed out that I am the "Grandma Cousin" to the babies. I wasn't amused. Yet, the image of a sweet little boy eating a popsicle while petting a kitten, and a girl who still appreciates these things? It just doesn't get better than that.

Enjoy what's left of your summer!

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