I have a holiday request.
Stop what you are doing right now, pick up your phone, and call your mom. Better yet, if you can swing by her house today do it! Or at the very least get to typing in your texting app, and while you are texting, talking or visiting with her, be sure to say this one thing…
I had one of those mornings that brought me full circle in my thoughts, in my appreciation, in my understanding, and in my gratitude for my mom.
As I was scrubbing the carpet on my hands and knees drenched in baby vomit from not one but two children, and on the verge of losing my sanity, I felt that familiar feeling. You know, the one you get as a mom where in the moment it all seems too hard. That feeling when you aren’t sure you can do it or that you even want to. It is those seconds of panic when you ask yourself, “how will I get through this?”
Mostly in those moments though I feel such loneliness. I have a wonderful and very involved partner, but there’s something about being a mom that it just seems like there is a bit more weight on my shoulders. There’s something about being a mom that feels like it’s up to you to hold it together, to get it done, to keep the earth revolving around the sun for your family.
This time in that moment, on the verge of tears, I saw it. I saw her. My mom.
I saw her in these same moments. Children crying, children sick, running children around to and fro.
I saw her and suddenly I knew her better than I have ever had before. I saw her in the beautifully hard mess and I was amazed at what she had gotten through, what she had accomplished, and the life she made for us kids.
In this moment I was able to see her for who she really is.
A person. Just a person. A person trying her best, giving her all, doing all that she can. Just as I am.
I am her. She was me. We are the same.
Most of us spend a lot of time trying to be different from our parents, but it’s in recognizing our similarities that we find the deep connections with them that we long for.
So Mom, for all the sleepless nights, the days of worry, the giving of yourself and the giving of your food, on the days when your work was second and your dreams and desires came last or still come last today, THANK YOU.
Thank you for juggling all the balls, for crying alone in the bathroom, for fighting through the days when you kind of wanted to run away, and for believing that my siblings and I are your greatest dream.
In a season of thanksgiving, I’d like to say I’m so thankful for you, Mom. I’m not sure how you’ve done it all these years, but I hope I can be half the parent that you have been someday. Thank you for all that you’ve done, all that you do, and all that you will continue to do for me. I am grateful. I see it all. I love you.