It's suggested that we mothers "be where we're at."
Meaning if I'm knee-deep in a pile of dirty dishes, I shan't be dreaming of a lotto-winning life and being able to afford a dishwashing robot to tackle those nasty bad boys for me and instead should be grateful I have food on my table.
Meaning if I'm up to my nose in unfolded, wrinkling-by-the-minute laundry, instead of turning my nose up at it, I need to stare at those garments and let it sink in what a blessing it is to have three tiny humans who drape themselves in 'em and dirty them up every single day.
Meaning whether I'm
waking up a grump face,
cleaning up spilled Cheerios,
reading the same story for the umpteenth time,
listening to the same story for the umpteenth time,
taming a tantrum or stealthily trying to avoid one,
being a chauffeur,
giving a time-in
or even taking my own timeout,
I need to stay present and mindful in the moment, sorting through all that got me to my current place and time and introspecting why I feel certain ways about it on any given day.
But here's the problem I have with that.
Motherhood is a feat, and one of its defining themes is how it requires you to multitask and juggle.
The kids and your work.
The housework and your responsibilities outside of your home.
Your nuclear family and your extended family.
Your commitment to your friends and your lack of time.
Your passions and the things that pay the bills.
Your marriage and your individual wants and needs.
And it feels like, not only can you not drop one of the balls, but if you do, you're sure to drop them all, and they'll all fall on your already hurting head, and you'll have to clean the mess that is the floor and yourself and it'll all happen on a day when you're out of cleaner and out of time.
So here's what I'm thinking...
Instead of requiring ourselves to "be where we're at," how about we all just
lighten the load,
lessen the weight,
and accept that sometimes, well, we're just gonna BE AT WHERE WE BE.
And sometimes that be inside the fridge looking for solace.
Or inside a bathroom looking for quiet.
And, if it happens to look like you
— hot mess and all —
that's okay too.
It just seems like the ever-present message to mothers (even mine sometimes) is "be more present" and "be sure to stay mindful," and I just think that, at least occasionally, the message should be "you're at where you be"
— this week, today, this hour —
and ain't nothing wrong with where that is.