Last night I was a broken mom.
I got into bed feeling like I got hit by a bus.
My soul was crushed by a voice telling me I was not enough. I’m not a good role model for my kids. I cursed three times because I was so angry. My middle child had a hard day at school. I handled a situation with my oldest daughter wrong because I COULDN’T TAKE THE ARGUING ANYMORE.
I rolled up into a ball of defeat and exhaustion.
I couldn’t laugh the pain away. I couldn’t ignore it. I needed to feel it.
Because moms need to break, too.
All day, we’ll have silent tears and internal screams. A smile painted on our faces. We’ll muddle through the fog of the day, trying not to let it spoil the good moments. But once we get the opportunity, we’ll lay in our mess of feelings and tears.
We’ll break into a million pieces.
We’ll want a chance to cry without "mommy, what's wrong?" followed by our children getting upset and us comforting their tears instead of our own.
We want a moment to ourselves. Even though it’s a sad one, we need it as much as we need a happy one.
Because sometimes, we need to break to get past the wrongs of the day, and that’s okay.
We don’t want to explain ourselves to anyone. We just want to be left to our brokenness.
And yes, we may be broken at this moment,
but sometimes you need to break to feel better again.
This post originally appeared on the author's Facebook. Her book "Living FULL: Winning My Battle with Eating Disorder" is available on Amazon: https://amzn.to/2O4mJId. And my Children’s Book 𝘐𝘵’𝘴 𝘖𝘬𝘢𝘺 𝘵𝘰 𝘕𝘰𝘵 𝘣𝘦 𝘖𝘬𝘢𝘺: 𝘈𝘥𝘶𝘭𝘵𝘴 𝘎𝘦𝘵 𝘉𝘪𝘨 𝘍𝘦𝘦𝘭𝘪𝘯𝘨𝘴 𝘛𝘰𝘰 is available for 𝐩𝐫𝐞-𝐨𝐫𝐝𝐞𝐫, 𝐨𝐮𝐭 𝐞𝐯𝐞𝐫𝐲𝐰𝐡𝐞𝐫𝐞 𝟏𝟏/𝟒!: https://www.amazon.com/Its-Oka...