Some days I’m not patient...
there, I said it.

Some days I yell.
Some days I curse.
Some days I ignore or harbor anger built up inside of me.

Some days I’m not patient and those days are hard.
Some days I don’t listen very well but I’m working on all of this.

I see you hang your head low and I’m sorry.
I see you quickly walk in and out of a room and I’m sorry.
I see you not make eye contact to avoid a conversation that may go south and I’m sorry.

Some days I’m just not patient.

But on these days, maybe I need some space,
some time to clear my head and work through what is mulling around up there.
Or maybe I need a long walk meandering along the dirt road, silently going through the twists and turns, within my brain, and the silly games it plays on me.

You see friends, patience is not always a given for me. Most days I have to work at it.

I get overwhelmed by chaos.
I like some semblance of order.

I get frustrated by too much noise.
I prefer a soft lull to the air.

I get overwhelmed by a lot of people talking to me at once.
I prefer a one on one conversation that I can follow and give all of my attention to.

I get frustrated by feeling torn in a few directions.
I prefer focusing on one task at a time.

So on the days I feel as if my patience is dwindling or spiraling downhill, I need to acknowledge and make room for space.
Space for myself to regroup and recollect my thoughts and allow room for more patience to emerge.

This motherhood thing...
it’s a long road of continuous learning, twists and turns, and room for flexibility and improvement, while all along including patience and love.

Phew! No wonder us mamas are so tired.

Hang in there mama, you are not alone. ❤️