Hi, my name is Megan, and I haven't slept in 2 years! I just had my two-year anniversary yesterday of no sleep. The day sleep and I parted ways was on July 7th, 2013 the day I found out I was pregnant.
I didn't know at that very moment I wouldn't sleep again, and honestly it didn't hit me until the later parts of pregnancy.
Sleep a word I talk about almost on a daily basis.
Here's what my husband and I talk about.
How long did the baby sleep last night?
Is she still sleeping?
How come she didn't sleep last night?
She slept 8 hours last night.
She had me up every hour.
Why was she SO bad last night?
She must be teething.
I think she's going through a wonder week.
It says here she should be getting in her molars.
I'm always combing the internet every time we hit a no sleep moment or if we have a horrible night. I'm on a rampage trying to figure out why my baby didn't sleep. For some reason I think the answer will pop out at me, and I will fix it. I swear I have a love-hate relationship with sleep, and I just can't get over it.
When Anniston was in the womb, she wasn't a crazy baby, and she was quiet most of the night. People always told me that she probably will be a good sleeper. I was convinced I was going to have a sleepy, quiet baby.
First night in the hospital she screamed her lungs out the whole night. I wanted to cry and shove her back in me. I couldn't believe we were welcomed with our sweet little girl in the middle of the night, and barely slept to be up all night with nothing but crying.
First three months were a wake-up call. I was on call every hour, and my boob was the only pacifier to bring quietness and stillness to my nights.
The fourth month, we were at our wits end and decided to sleep train. According to every book, I read it was hard the first few nights, and then it got easier. It was hard for months, and I'm not going to lie. To hear your baby scream bloody murder is the hardest and painful thing to listen to, plain and simple. I became tough and kept repeating to myself "you will get through this, and she needs to sleep". My husband and I were missing our bed, we wanted alone time, and we just needed back our sanity.
By month six she was sleeping in her crib but woke up at least twice a night. I dealt with this off and on until month 12. Rocking, feeding, rocking, feeding was the routine I did for six months.
I soon found out that the first few teeth are nothing big. Let's talk molars, they are the death of me.
Teething royally sucks. I don't have a boob to ease the pain, and it's so hard to see your baby whaling and screaming at 2 am.
I haven't slept in a couple of months, and we still have more teeth to go.
I still Google why she's up all night, I even called the doctors last week. I wonder if everyone is going through this or has been through this and I realize that I'm not the only one.
I decided I need to stop focusing our whole life around sleep and just to give up and put my hands up in the air when we have a bad night. It's tough to not sleep, and then to be a mother the next day. Children don't care if you don't have sleep, they require every piece of you even if you have only slept a few hours.
They didn't get the memo that mommy is tired and to not cry, or have a meltdown. I even feel like sometimes they have more moments the next day, and then I feel like the day will just never end.
Bottom line, sleep is in my near future. Every day she's older it's one day closer to my 8 hour nights. I know I'm not in the clear, I can already hear the cry's at night when she's sick, growing pains, can't sleep, or the boogie man is in her room.
Trust me, sleep is the best in your twenties. The minute I will finally get sleep I will be going through menopause in my fifties sweating my ass off in the middle of the night, and dreaming of the days I was breastfeeding my baby!
Bye, sleep it was nice knowing you!