Perhaps one day, they'll understand all the sacrifices she gladly made out of love for them. -John Mark Green
I read this quote while searching online about "inspirational mom quotes" and it hit me like a ton of bricks. When I was little, I always wished my mom and I would do "girlie" things like have tea parties, go shopping, get manicures and pedicures. Those things never happened. It wasn't because I didn't have a mom. I did! And she was such a hard working woman but she wasn't always there. She was always working. Everything she did she did for us. But she wasn't "there." I didn't understand the depth of a mother's love.
Instead of having tea parties or any of those things, my mom always told me to save money. Is it a first generation Korean thing? She would nag me all the time about how those things were unnecessary and a waste of money. But that was also a way of showing a mother's love.
As a child, I didn't understand the sacrifices she made. I didn't see my mother's love for me when she and my dad would work long hours. All I saw as a child was my parents working all the time. And as a child, I equated spending time with love. They were working all the time because they loved us but that was hard to understand when I was young.
My Own Child
Now that I am a mom myself, I'm very aware of communicating my love to A. I want her to know that I love her so much not just with words but by spending time with her as much as I can. Because there isn't a language barrier, I'm able to communicate with her, reason with her and just have a better relationship with her than I had with my own mom.
And if she wants to dress up, have tea parties, have a manicure or pedicure or go shopping together- we will (as long as it's within our budget.)
This isn't to say anything negative about my mom or my parents. I know now just how much they sacrificed for us. I won't fully know the trials and difficulties they went through to immigrate to the United States for a better life for our family. But I am also aware of the fact that focusing only on work and working had some ill effects on our family. I don't think they knew how to find a balance between working and spending time together. They were just trying to survive and provide us with a better life.
Things Will Be Different With A
But I know that my relationship with A will be different than my relationship with my mom. This isn't to say that I'm trying to relive my childhood through her. But I just want a relationship with my daughter where she can tell me anything without worrying about getting in trouble or being told it's wrong.
I'm thankful to be able to spend as much time as I can with her as a SAHM and that she wants to hang out with me. I know that it won't always be like that. But I'm hoping that the times we've been able to spend will lay a foundation for our relationship so that she can always turn to me or her dad for anything. I hope that as she grows up, she will always remember how much she is loved and how precious she is no matter what. I hope she will know how deep her mother's love is.
Do you know the depth of your mother's love for you?
Photography: Team-Richey Photos (Rachel Richey)