Dear Kids,

Sometimes I yell.

Sometimes I have no patience.

Sometimes I’m in crappy mood for no apparent reason.

Sometimes I complain.

Sometimes I blame.

Sometimes I’m just, well, lame.

Sometimes I’m snippy.

Sometimes I snap.

Sometimes I want you to be anywhere that’s not my lap.

Sometimes I cry.

Sometimes I lie.

Sometimes, it’s not enough for me for you just to try.

Sometimes I demand you try harder.

Sometimes I declare that I can’t and won’t.

But here’s the thing…

I’m just figuring it all out.

How to do this.

How to

grow as a person,

while growing next to person,

while raising little persons to grow into good big persons,

while not losing who I am as an individual person.

I’m just figuring it all out.

As it comes.

As it goes.

As it comes and goes.

And so are you.

And that’s a stark truth I have to repeatedly remind myself of.

That I,

a by-all-definitions adult,

don’t always “get it right,”

and that expecting my learn-from-my-example offspring to,

is just ludicrous.

Dear kids…please forgive this mama for I know not how to do what I’m doing. I’m just doing it to the best of my ability and I promise to do a better job of believing and remembering that on any given day, in any given moment, you’re doing the same.