On February 7, 2012 my second child, a boy, was born via emergency C-Section. I was put to sleep for the procedure. When I woke up I found out my son was having trouble breathing and I couldn't see him because he was receiving oxygen. Fast forward to the next day, my husband came in to tell me that our son wasn't doing well. The NICU emergency team was there to take him to the nearest hospital with a NICU unit, an hour away, to try to save him. We found out he was born with a double pneumothorax. They had done all they could at the hospital where he was born. Before they took him they informed me that he might not make it to the hospital. There was a chance he would die enroute. They wheeled me in to see him, to hold him for the first time. My first time seeing my son and holding him, might have been the last, but God. He made it to the NICU and was put on oxygen, and so many other things I couldn't wrap my head around. When I was finally released from the hospital 2 days later I finally got to go see him. I remember my husband wheeling me through the doors of the NICU. I was terrified, heartbroken, anxious. Seeing my baby hooked up to so many machines with tubes coming out of everywhere broke me. I felt like I had failed him. The nurses were wonderful though. They assured me he was getting great care. He had so many nurses, but I only remember one. Ginny Brown helped me hold my son, wires and all, for the first time. She saved his first bottle for me, and even gave me a tiny preemie shirt to "wear" to get my scent on it so that she could place it in the bed with him so he could smell me. I remember telling him that "Mommy needs you to fight, you have to be strong," and begging God to save him. Going home without my baby to an empty crib was the worst. I cried everyday. We called constantly to check on him. They were always so gracious and patient, explaining things so we could understand them. Bringing him home was the best day but also scary. He was so tiny. I remember getting him home and just holding him all the time, never taking my eyes off of him. It took me a while to realize he was ok. I'm happy to say he's now a happy, healthy, very handsome almost 6 year old!
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