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One day I'll miss it, but right now I welcome it

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Anyone who’s ever been to my house knows my young daughters are stage 400 clingers. They are mama’s girls. And physical space…well, I need some of it. Like one inch at least.

So when we were at the beach on vacation a few weeks ago and they were…OVER THERE…I sat wondering what to do with my hands. And my brain. And my chance to get a tan line that doesn’t involve an awkward formation from a child on my thighs. I felt this quick twinge of guilt because I should be sad that they’re growing up and onto new, bigger kid phases but I was not sad. Not in the least.


They were over there digging, building, throwing and riding waves. I was over here, shouting “GO NOW!” when the wave was about to break. I got to watch their joy and experience it like I never have before. Of course, there was plenty of snack-fetching and seashell hunting on the mommy-do list (not to mention an infant still to care for) but it was more fun because I also got to…dare I say it..relax.

You see, the repercussions of having a child on you at all times can be monumental. If you know me, you also know that I am a do-er. Sitting still is not a strength. And when there are kids on your lap, it makes doing things harder.

I am also an empath—I take on the emotions of those around me in a deep, I-can-actually-feel-it kind of way. That gift/curse is not limited to the emotions of adults. Have you ever spent one hour with a toddler? The rollercoaster of emotions that they experience in impressively small amounts of time is emotionally and physically draining for me.

But…when they are over there, I don’t feel it as much. I don’t ride the wave of every sentence. Fetching snacks is no longer like a chore, because I have freedom to move my hands and my legs at will without moving, lifting or warding off a 30+ lb being.

Have I ever sat and cried with my baby in my arms knowing one day they won’t need me to hold them? Of course. Have I gotten a lump in my throat just thinking about how big they’re getting? Absolutely. But am I also thrilled that the end of that phase is getting near? Heck yes.

I am excited for the phase where my toddlers move onto kid-hood and claim their independence. I am excited to watch them grow and thrive. I am excited to resume doing things (I mean really, really, really basic things like grabbing the remote) without the weight of a human on me. I am thrilled to be over here, watching them over there. I am thankful for the stage of snuggles, and grateful for this newfound independence.

Originally posted on the author's blog, Please Bring Coffee. Follow her on Facebook or via email for more relatable parenting.

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