Not all moms are broken, angry, exhausted and depleted, though if you are any of those things, it's okay.
Not all moms are whole, happy, full of energy and satisfied, though if you are any of those things, it's okay.
You see, it's okay to be this or that.
It's also okay to be this one day and that the next day.
Heck, you could even be this one hour and that the next hour.
It doesn't mean you are "crazy," despite what the general public, social and mainstream media, judgy people and perhaps even your husband think.
Being a beautiful mess of dichotomies and yeah, even extremes, it is normal, mama and it's far from unbecoming.
I think some (like me) would even contend that the most beautiful and admirable women in the world are those who are unapologetically authentic.
Women who, on any given day, are:
Grumpy, yet kind.
Tired, but still focused.
Worried, but undeniably motivated.
Frustrated, yet capable of being funny.
Stressed, but eerily calm.
Busy, but still present.
And maybe us mamas are a little bit of this and that because our children are very much this and that; ornery, yet hilarious; stubborn but willing, energetic, yet indifferent.
And, sometimes, when my Facebook newsfeed and even parent pick-up line are jammed-packed with examples of women, mothers specifically, who are either admitting to feeling a bit low and overwhelmed or those that are seemingly "killing it" at parenting and enjoying every second, I wonder which one am I?
You see, on Sunday I was feeling anxious about the upcoming activities for the week and how I would manage it all.
By Monday morning though, I was feeling strong and determined, like Supermom.
Tuesday I felt a bit overwhelmed and guilty that I didn't get a lot of my to-do list done on Monday.
By Wednesday I was messing up with my kids a lot; lacking patience and yelling.
Thursday I was a good mom; one with energy, who was present for her kids and enthusiastic about engaging with them.
Friday, I was depleted and wishing the day away so that bedtime could arrive as could my Friday evening glass of wine.
Saturday, as expected, I felt relaxed, and the kids enjoyed "chill mommy."
That was of course until Sunday morning, when pre-Monday anxiety set in and I wondered how I would get the house cleaning, grocery shopping, and laundry done and still have quality family time.
Like I said, not all moms are broken, angry, exhausted and depleted, though if you are any of those things, on any given day or even just for an hour, it's okay.
Not all moms are whole, happy, full of energy and satisfied, though if you are any of those things, on any given day, even just for an hour, it's okay.
It's okay not to have your sh*t together all the time.
It's okay to be the anomaly that does have her sh*t together all the time.
It's okay to present like you are Superwoman; it's not fake, it's you putting forth who you strive to be.
It's okay to present like a hot mess, and little do you know it, you are inspiring tons of other women to embrace their hot messness.
It's okay to be better Mom on Monday than Tuesday.
It's okay to have a killer week and dominate parenting, your marriage, and work.
It's okay to mess up and fail and forget things.
It's okay to be imperfect.
It's okay to be this and that.
Each week, when my kids make a mistake or spontaneously present to me a facet of their personality that is not super-becoming or even "appropriate," my initial reaction is to become frustrated, and my go-to action is to criticize them for it.
Why in the world do or should I hold them to a different standard than I am preaching I should hold myself to?
You are not one-note, mama and that is what makes you so impressive and unique.
And, your children, they can't maintain self-control, appropriateness and a flat affect at all times either, and seriously, how flippin' boring would it be if you or they did?
Here's your permission slip to let yourself BE.
Here's your permission slip to let your children BE.
Stop comparing yourself to you yesterday.
Stop comparing yourself you Sally's mom.
Stop comparing your child to who they were yesterday or five minutes ago or even holding unrealistic expectations for who you want them to be tomorrow.
We, adults and children alike, are all a delightfully muddled combination of personality traits and emotions and whoever you are, on any given day, for any given hour, is idiomatic to you and perfectly imperfectly lovely.
Keep telling yourself and your children that "it's okay," because it is.
I promise you that.