You see that boy right there. His name is Kanen. His world is full of colors, shapes and all things Disney.
He’ll never miss the chance to point at the sky as he hears a plane pass by overhead. He also waves hi to every bus he sees, and goodbye to every garbage truck. You’ll also hear him say “vroom, vroom, vroom” anytime a big red fire truck passes by. Those are his favorite. I guess you can say he has a special love for all things that go.
Like the beaming sun on a cool Spring day his laugh and smile will immediately fill you with so much warmth. He truly is a remarkable kid.
For awhile I used to think his world was only black and white. This way or that with no gray area in between. And although at times it very much feels like it is, once I took the time to step into his world I realized it’s filled with more color than I ever thought was imaginable. More colors than our world is capable of seeing. I picture them to be hues of purple, red, green, blue, pink and yellow. All his favorite’s.
You see my son has the bright colors of Autism woven into him.
He is stubborn, he is determined, and he knows what he wants. He loves what he loves, he does what he wants to do, and he communicates how he is capable. Everything is on his terms. In so many ways he’s simply a toddler, yet, he possesses every I trait I wished for in myself, even now as an adult. It’s amazing.
That kid inspires me everyday. He shows me that miracles are possible. He shows me that he will continue to shatter the never’s, it’ll just be when he’s ready.
Most importantly he’s taught me there is no one size fits all when it comes to this life. Each person on the spectrum carries their own strengths, their own passions, their own way to thrive. They say that if you meet one person with Autism, that’s just it, you meet one person with Autism. No two individuals are ever going to be alike. And as his mom if I had only one wish, it would be for the world to understand that. To respect that.
I have walked alongside side Autism for nearly 3 years now, and by no means does that make me a professional. I certainly don’t have all the answers and I can’t say I always understand it’s distinctive lens, but I do my best to try. Some moments are harder for me than others, but I’m learning as I go. I’m only human.
Theres enough room to admit this life is as equally wonderful as it is hard. I do believe there is beauty within the chaos of this journey. My son Kanen has shown me there is.
Some day’s it’s the grace behind his perfectly lined up toys, other days it’s the strength of a ferocious storm that lives inside him. Some day’s it’s the sweet voice that shows me shapes like circles, triangles and squares in everyday life objects, other days it feels like it has the strength of the Incredible Hulk. Some day’s it floats as graceful as butterfly, other days it stings as harsh as a bee. Wherever we go it will make its presence known.
Autism has made my son uniquely him. The bright colors, and the strength of a ferocious storm that is woven into my son is who he was always meant to be.
Charming. Strong. Tender-Hearted.
That boy is meant to teach the world, to change the world.
I’d choose him in every lifetime.