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Challenge: Stop Mom Judging

My dear friend 'Sally'

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Hi Sally

Yes, that’s your real name. You are a real person. A middle aged woman.

Honestly, it’s easier for me to respond to you when I think of you as a human being. A real person with thoughts, feelings and emotions.

A grace that I’m not sure you granted me. I also won’t share your last name.

This group of special needs parents is pretty fierce. When I share your comment I’m sure many of them will want to hunt you down and comment on your perfect life.

I’m going to save them the hassle though. You aren’t worth it Sally.

On Friday night I shared an absolutely beautiful photo of my three boys.

Cooper is 8. Sawyer just turned six. And the baby is 15 weeks. They are three of the cutest kids you will ever meet.

They are my whole entire world.


In the photo, they are eating ice cream together. Which is a pretty big deal in our house.

Jamie and I have devoted our lives to our children. To giving them their best life and meeting their unique needs.

Bringing them together is very important to us. Something we encourage daily.

If you could hear the conversation you would hear sounds of laughter, negotiating for a bigger bowl, squealing (mostly from the baby) and talk of trains, farts and the birthday party we would be attending the next day.

Sawyer is pretty excited. He loves his friends fiercely. He loves parties even more.

And every time we say the word birthday, Cooper cheers. He loves birthdays. In his mind, birthdays are the absolute best thing.

We were also choosing the movie for movie night. Friday’s are movie nights. It’s a pretty big deal in our world.

We chose Hook.


But you didn’t know any of that. You also didn’t know that Sawyer and I eat popcorn and snuggle and laugh.

You also didn’t know that for the second week in a row, Cooper decided to join us for movie night. This is huge.

It also means I got to snuggle this one for longer than one second. This never happens. See how content he looks?

Friday was a pretty big night in our world.

You saw my photo of my three amazing kids. You must follow my Facebook page. Or you are a passer by. Or maybe someone shared my post. Who knows.

I wasn’t really checking comments on Friday night because I was parenting. And enjoying my life.

So, I didn’t see your comment until Saturday.


I want you to know that you win.

Of all the comments I’ve received…and let’s make a guess of how many. Sometimes 5,000 a day. For nearly two years. That’s a lot of comments. Most are lovely and sweet. Almost all are supportive.

Some are mean. Some are evil

And then your comment. One wrapped up in a pretty little package. A comment that would come from a narcissistic mother. One that pretends to be caring. And loving. But is actually purely vile.

You win.

And again, that is hard to do. I’ve had comments calling my son the R-word. Saying I’m the worst mother alive. That I’m an embarrassment. That I’m better off dead. Blah, blah, blah.

All easy to ignore. But this one.

You attacked below the belt. Not only did you imply I’m a mother who’s damaging her children, you commented on my kids well being. Their looks. Their health.

You called my kids sad. You said the baby looks sad. My beautiful 15 week old baby who laughs all day long.

You actually went there. In 2019, amidst the anti-bulling movements, you had the balls to talk about the bags under my kids eyes. Like they weren’t attractive enough.

Not that it needs to be said…these kids are all joy.

My house is full of laughter, noise, chaos and humor. Neither my husband nor I find time to attack children online. Why? Because we are raising happy, healthy children. Three of them.

A kid who yesterday at the birthday party noticed that a friend was sad. And told an adult. And the mom thanked me.

Do you know that every day I wake up I thank God for my life. My beautiful, busy, chaotic, full life.

I’m not sad. Not in the slightest.

And honestly, the saddest part Sally…is what if my son was sick? Or sad. What if he had bags under his eyes not from being a busy kindergartner who plays hockey and has endless playdates, and instead was ill? Which he’s not. Why would you ever point it out? You are heartless.

The saddest part about all of this is that you get to see my beautiful kid’s faces. You don’t deserve that honor.

You my friend, win. Congratulations. You found the bravery to attack three small children online.

That takes a special kind of person.

Please come forward to accept your prize. But first, you must read your comment out loud to my face. And these three will be listening.

Sincerely, Kate

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