Mom's young daughter calls her out on her "resting face."
This article is about me.
Lately, my eight-year-old daughter is very frequently asking me, "Are you okay?"
Of course, I appreciate her concern -- because what a witch I would be if I didn't -- but truthfully, I'm getting a bit frustrated with her continued inquiry into my state of being.
More often than not, at the moments she asks, I'm either flustered or frustrated and will jump on the chance to blame
our busy schedule,
the general public,
her and her siblings for my feelings.
We're in a rush.
The dog shiitaked all over the floor.
The kids are whining and fighting.
The hubs was his general hubs self and did or said something to irritate me.
OR, just perhaps, I'm to blame for the multitude of my moods, even the poor ones.
Regardless of who is responsible, my moods cause a face, and that face of mine lends itself to be questioned, and that firstborn of mine, she jumps on that opportunity every time.
"Are you okay, Mommy? She asked again tonight, earlier today and this morning.
My dear girl, if only I could explain to you that mommy will never be entirely okay.
I will always be worried about
whether or not I'm doing a good job as your mother;
that you don't get enough fruits and vegetables in your diet;
that I give you too much screen time;
that all the fighting between you and your siblings isn't normal;
how you are doing in school and how you're doing socially;
what I've taught you about body image and what it means to be beautiful;
you seeking perfection and you having the fear that if you're imperfect, I won't be okay.
Honey, I'm fine; I'm just a momma, and this is the face of a mama.
It's the face of a woman who is expending all of her energy and brainpower each day to successfully captain a clean ship, and it's precious cargo to the land of happiness.
It's not that I'm not okay; it's just hard on my body, heart, and head to make sure that you and your sister and brother always are -- and that's the truth.