I’ve been struggling keeping my 13-year-old engaged with his schoolwork during Covid. When he’s in front of his computer, he wants to play video games, not sit in a Zoom room and be talked at. He fails to turn in assignments, his work is often sloppy, and not only is it affecting his grades, but I fear that his entire work ethic is suffering irrevocable damage. Coming from this belief, it’s not surprising that we fight… a lot.
I asked Daniel Mangena, professional dreamer, manifestor and coach, how Law of Attraction can help me become a more effective parent.
Mangena was quick to remind me that children cannot be bent to our will, nor matter how much we will it. Children are thinking, feeling and sentient beings. They do not become who we want them to be, but who we are. Children are sponges in the way they absorb the world around them. And from that world, they construct their realities, their personalities, and their behavior.
Young children don’t know right from wrong. Rather, they simply mirror their environment. Therefore we can see some young children becoming prone to drug use while other young children sweetly play with cars and dolls. They’re simply mirroring the world around them.
We want what’s best for our children, but are WE what’s best for them?
I was a terrific student at my son’s age. It seemed natural to me that my son would be one too. All of us parents want to pass down positive traits to our children, but we often forget that what we say and do may not align with what we want to manifest for them. Our children learn more from the interactions around them than by what we tell them. If we tell a child that smoking is bad, but they see us do it, then they’ll follow by example.
If we want our children to become better students, and more importantly, better people, then we need to become better people ourselves. We need to become the positive mirroring for them to reflect on and learn from. We need to lead by example.
If we want a harmonious child, we need to create a peaceful and harmonious environment. It’s about helping them tune into the positive energetic frequency that we want them to adopt.
Often, by trying to force a desired reality upon children, we actually stop creating the reality that we want to manifest. Again, what we do is more important than what we say. Arguing with my son over schoolwork does not make my son more prone to do schoolwork. In fact, as Mangena points out, oftentimes the opposite is the case. Because of my actions, I’m turning schoolwork into more of a dreaded chore, as contrasted to the fun and gamification he finds in playing video games with his friends. What I say matters far more than what I do.
Children are smart and attuned to us. They pick up on everything. If my partner and I are constantly fighting but avoid doing so in front of the children, our children will still pick up on the hostile energy. If we want your children to succeed in relationships, it's not enough to just avoid fighting in front of them. The key lies in solving our own issues and changing ourselves first because this will change the energy we radiate and provide our children a healthier environment that they come to both expect and mimic.
In many cases, our universe is fair; it gives back what we put out. Rather than fighting against universal laws, we can use those laws to our benefit. The universe doesn’t punish us or reward us, it simply gives us what we create, even if what we create is on a subconscious level.
Mangena says it best:
“As adults, we have a higher responsibility to become our best selves, because in doing so we shape the desires, behavior, flaws, and qualities of our children.”
You can’t control your child
When we can’t control our children, we often feel like we failed as parents, but healthy parenting is not about control. It’s about providing a healthy and safe path for our children to become their true selves.
We can’t control anything outside of ourselves. We can’t control the stock market, the weather, or other people. We can only control our behavior, our minds, and our response to circumstances. Our children are painfully out of our control. The best we can do is become the people we wish to be. Our children will inevitably respond to what we transmit.
By controlling our presence and mindfulness, by choosing peace and self-control, our child will acclimate to the new, peaceful pattern we’ve set for them.
If we focus on creating a loving environment instead of forcing behavior, we inevitably will create the loving behavior we want.
When doing schoolwork becomes an organic offshoot of that loving environment, then it’s more likely that my son will follow suit. Again, he may not, because ultimately he’s out of my control. But I do know this. If I choose to turn my son into a good student through force, I’ve already lost.
We change the world around us by changing ourselves
Yes! Our children do make us better people because they make us want to change ourselves for the better, which in turn manifests as kinder and healthier children.
Our energetic vibrations also tend to match the exterior environment. Take a moment and watch what’s going on inside of you and check if it resembles what’s happening in your surroundings. You will notice that they are often a match. We choose our friends according to their interactions with our personalities, we choose our spouse according to our mind and heart, as it is with all the choices that we make. They are a physical representation of what’s going on inside of us.
Exercise freewill by making positive choices. Become the embodiment of what you want to experience, and the universe will respond because the world gives back what we give it.
How are you coping with our new normal? Reply in the comments below.
To find out how to make the Law of Attraction work for you, download Daniel Mangena's free guide here.