When my kids were little, I didn't take time for myself like I should've. My passions and hobbies were packed up and stored away. I was a great mama. I just wasn't so great to myself.
The mountains of dirty (or clean) laundry was too exhausting to climb. So it sat in the middle of the floor like a permanent fixture of furniture.
The dishes? Forget about it. We had moldy sippy cups and Cheerio-smashed carpet decor.
Deep-cleaning, daily showering, eating a well-balanced meal? Please.
Taking time for myself? HA!
I came to grips with the toys that took up 3/4 of our apartment. I accepted that my van permanently smelled like sour milk, even after being vacuumed and shampooed. I make peace with never having a moment's peace, not even to poop.
I resigned to the mess.
I surrendered to the chaos and told myself that maybe someday I would do photography again. Or journal. Or read a book. Or get out of sweatpants. Or not cry every day.
Maybe someday my husband and I would have sex again without it turning into a covert military operation.
Maybe someday I wouldn't be covered in stains and boogers and self-doubt.
I know so many moms out there that are sacrificing everything for the sake of their kids, just like I did.
So mama, if this is you too, know that I see you.
I know what it feels like to be last on The List--the one you penned yourself.
As one mom to another, please try to give yourself something to look forward to every day. Something for only you. 30 minutes of drinking coffee while listening to the birds. A long bubble bath. A quiet walk. 20 minutes of reading. A phone convo with your best friend. A nap. Even a 5 minute shower.
Something. Anything. Find someone who will take over for you for just a quick slice of time.
Take the time. You are just as important as every other person in your family.
You deserve it, mama.
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FB: Faith in the Mess - Melissa Neeb, Writer
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