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Launder like Laughlin

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You know the story.

Famous parents allegedly pay money to a college consultant for a secured spot. What you don’t know is that seeking a competitive edge on their child’s behalf started way before this scandal broke.

As in before birth.

You see, as Moms we are forced into this rat race the second we receive a positive pregnancy test. And in this age of Instagram perfection, these expectations are set at an all time high. You have a unique gender reveal party followed by a Pinterest approved baby shower. You stage a family photoshoot after your holistic birth and then are expected to bounce back like a baby didn’t just come out of your hoo-hah. So to assume that we aren’t just as competitive when it comes to our children’s education is an oversight.


For instance, here in West LA, it is commonplace to have to enter the right Baby Group in order to secure a spot in the right Toddler Class. Doing so will almost always ensure acceptance into the right Preschool. This will then solidify enrollment into the right middle school where a sport, such as soccer, will be embedded into their psyche as to prepare them for a D1 high-school team. Once they’re on the right team with the right grades they will apply to the right college in hopes that eighteen years of doing the right thing will pay off.

It’s exhausting. I know.

Here we are spending all that energy trying to teach them how to Bend It Like Beckham when we could’ve just Laundered Like Laughlin.

Maybe you think you’d never do something like that. That you’re above it. But you probably didn’t see yourself posting a #blessed photo of you and your baby like you weren’t just crying in the shower ten minutes ago, either.

As Moms, we care. Sometimes too much. The line between helping our children succeed and hurting them in the long run can be crossed without us knowing. And while sticking up for toddler on the playground may not turn into paying for better SAT scores overnight, it doesn’t mean you’re not capable.

Or someday willing.

I’m not saying it was right. I’m not saying that other, more deserving students, weren’t robbed of their fair chance at an education. But they certainly aren’t alone. Every Mom wants what is best for their children. And whether it’s baking cookies for the classroom, making a charitable donation, or putting down powerful names as references on preschool applications- we’re all guilty.

To some degree.

So, Momma. When you’re ready to point fingers so as to set yourself apart, think twice. You may not be Laundering Like Laughlin but chances are you’ve buttered up more than just toast today.

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