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Challenge: Romance After Kids

Keeping your relationship alive after kids

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Having children is a beautiful thing for any aspiring parent but it’s also changing the way you live your life. Most of your attention is now directed towards the child, as it should be, but most more often than not, they might neglect their relationship. A child’s arrival changes the parent’s priorities, schedule, eating habits, and pretty much everything else.

So much of the parent’s lives now revolve around their children’s needs, and it is easy to overlook the relationship you share with your partner. If your relationship, at some point, involved going to dinner dates, late evenings out with friends, trips to the movies, and last-minute travel plans, after the kid came into the picture, you probably gave up on a lot of these things.

As a parent, you are aware that every one of those things is much more complicated after children. Time alone is less frequent and date nights out are more expensive. Children are exhausting, and they require a great deal of energy and attention throughout the day, and in many cases, the night. However, your relationship with your partner shouldn’t take a hit because children came into the picture, and maintaining a stable and romantic relationship is possible with some intentionality, planning, and a mindset shift.

Here are a couple of things you can do to maintain a healthy love life:

  • More often than not, the frequency with which couples go out after they have children decreases significantly. That is expected, but you don’t have to omit date nights completely. A date night at home after the children are sleeping can be just as fun and thought out. You can play a board game, cook together, do a puzzle and share a bottle of wine. Be creative and make the most out of your time together.

  • Having a blast at Disney World with your family is fun but you should consider giving your partner a break from time to time. Have your partner take a day “off” and go out golfing with friends or get a pedicure with her girlfriends. I’m sure it won’t be much trouble if you watch the kids for an hour or so. You don’t always have to spend your time together, and I’m sure that your partner will appreciate the break and the “me time” you allow them to take.

  • Every partner has different tasks and responsibilities after children come into the picture, so don’t think that you might take on a lot more responsibilities than your partner. This might spark an argument between you and your partner, and it never ends well. Don’t compare your tasks or call each other out for not doing enough. It is unhealthy for a relationship, and it has to stop. Have a team mentality and understand that you are both working together and both roles are important.

Romance in a relationship takes even more work after kids are part of the picture. However, it’s not impossible to keep it alive, and by being intentional about connecting with your partner, you can keep your relationship healthy, despite the demands of having a family.

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