Photo Credit: Serena Smith, work at Maya Flower store, Trivandrum.
It is inevitable to become stressed while chasing away your parenting goal. As you keep juggling between the various aspects of parenting, this stress only tends to increase, impacting parent-child association adversely. So, here are some first-hand formulas to help you cope with the parenting stress and improve your relationship with kids.
Acceptance is the Key.
It is a well-known fact that life changes forever after babies. And you need to accept it. Your priorities take a backseat and theirs come first and foremost. The sooner you accept it, lesser is the reason to stress about. Your body's most natural response to the stress is fight or flight. Face it and you'll do just fine. Most of the new-age parents don't realize this timely and become stressed that they no longer can party or have their way with time. Admit that kids will take their time to grow up and even then, while you will have some personal space to boast of, you'll still have to watch their priorities. This is the sacrifice your parents made for you and this is why the bond between parents and kids is said to be the most pure and unselfish one.
After the bitter dose of practicality, here is the panacea. Reach out to your support system. It could be your in-laws, parents, professional baby sitters or even extended family whom you can trust your kids with. While you plan quality time with your partner or friends, they can take care of your kids. But make sure that you abide by the time and don't take this act of courtesy for granted. Make sure you show your appreciation towards them and don't make it a habit. After all, they have raised you good and they are finally where they can start living their lives as per their own schedule.
Manage your Time.
Parenting doesn't mean compromising on the quality time. Whether you want to lose that post-pregnancy weight or wish to go out on a dinner date with your spouse, you are the one between you and your happiness, literally. Manage your schedule in accordance to your kids'. For instance, I write when my kids are asleep or out with their dad. When you have learnt the art to squeeze time out of these 24 hours, your stress will reduce on its own.
Your life has changed. And what now? Will you just want to be Tom's Mom or Ana's Dad? Think it through. I learnt to dance when I my first kid was three. While I decided long over that I wouldn't join office back but one thing was for sure that I wasn't going to lose myself in this newfound parenthood. I bought flowers to feel special. I achieved weight-loss goal, something which I wasn't able to do in a full-time job. I also took my hobby of gardening to new level.
Don't let anything stop you from staying happy, not even a big responsibility like parenting!