I wish I had known how vulnerable it would make me feel. Having my children was literally like wearing my heart on my sleeve, all worries and concerns were magnified. Sometimes the worrying overshadowed the enjoyment and most of the time it was for nothing. I had to learn to just breathe.
I suppose I was an ‘older’ mother for the first time by todays standards and I waited a long time for my daughter to arrive. I did not know what love was until that moment. My son was born two years later and I knew I had the most precious gifts in the world and to this day I know how blessed I am.
Two years ago my daughter had her Bat-mitzvah.
The speech I gave at her ceremony started like this,
“On April 2nd, 2000, I wrote a letter to my unborn daughter, I wrote, and I quote, I have given you life, but you have already given me so much more than that, I can't wait to meet you. I waited many years for you and when I saw you for the first time, every minute was worth it.
You have been, and continue to be, our inspiration. The gift to us has been to watch you grow into the beautiful young lady standing before us. In two days, you are officially a teenager, I am told that is when the fun starts.
Well, if the past few years are any indication of what to expect, I know you will continue to shine in your own unique way.
Even though I still check on you and your brother in the middle of the night, I am very aware of how fast the time is going.
It’s a bit ironic - you have raised me up much more than I could have ever raised you.
We cannot give you your dreams, for those will be yours alone, but our wish for you is that they may lead you to all that is beautiful in life, and we will help and support you in any way we can.”
My son had his Bar-mitzvah a couple of months ago. The time really does go that fast just as I was told when they were babies. Enjoy every minute of it and even though there will be many things to worry about, don't let the worries take the moment away.
Each and every moment is so special.