Parents, you’ve got questions, we’ve got answers.

Or just as likely, we’ve got questions and you’ve got answers.

Challenge: Pregnancy and Infant Loss

An Open Letter to Infertility Warriors This Christmas

Vote up!
Share on Facebook Share on Twitter Email this article
Dear fellow infertility warriors:

It's okay to feel sad right now.

It's okay to be angry even though it's a so-called 'wonderful' time of year.

I know it's hard to smile when you dream of filling a stocking on the fireplace mantel for a little one you've been waiting for.
I know it's impossible not to cry when you hang ornaments on the Christmas tree and there are none that celebrate, "Baby's 1st Christmas" this year. Again.

I know it's a stab in the heart when someone asks, "What do you want for Christmas this year?" and all you want is a gift that can't be wrapped or placed neatly under a twinkling tree.

All you want is for your body to not be broken.

All you want is for your heart to not hurt.

All you want is the gift a parenthood -- a gift that is passed out so freely to those around you.

All you want is two pink lines. A baby. Parenthood. A joy-filled holiday with the sounds of feet pitter-pattering down the hallway as you watch the delight in your child's face on Christmas morning.

You want to be happy like everyone else this time of year, but it's hard.

I may be on the other side of infertility now, but I'm here to tell you that I understand.

I know your heart. I know your hurt.

I know you're trying to choose joy.

And I know how hard this all is because deep down you're wondering when the brokenness of infertility will end.

I know what you're going through -- that deep longing to become a parent; that unfulfilled item on your Christmas list.

And I'm here to remind you that you are not alone.

You are never alone.

It's okay to be sad this Christmas.

And next Christmas.

And the one after that...

It's okay to wonder when it'll be your turn to start holiday traditions with the family you've been dreaming about for so long.

It won't always be this way.

Infertility During the Holidays
Because life -- as bumpy and rough and unexpected as it can be -- is made of miracles.

There will be a light at the end of this tunnel, and happiness will find its way back to you again.

Sometimes choosing joy is hard when we're in hard places.

I want you to know I'm thinking of you.

And however you're feeling this time of year is okay.

A version of this post was originally published on

This post comes from the TODAY Parenting Team community, where all members are welcome to post and discuss parenting solutions. Learn more and join us! Because we're all in this together.