I remember the night like it was yesterday - except it was 11 years ago - the night I found out I was pregnant. I stood in the bathroom starting at not one but two positive pregnancy tests muttering to myself "now what?" - I was 32 years old and I felt like a teenager, like I was too young to be doing this. I shuffled my way into the living room where my husband of 4 years was reading in the corner chair. I handed him the positive test without uttering a word - I was in shock I think - as he took the stick, he looked at me and said "what is this?" - clearly he had not been introduced to a pregnancy test prior to this event. I couldn't get any words out, I started to cry. After a few seconds he realized what was happening, he hugged me and exclaimed his excitement. All I could do was say "what are we gonna do now?"....he laughed, like I was kidding and said, "what do you mean, we're gonna have a baby. We're in our 30's, we've been married for years, we can finally quiet the question askers in our lives!!" I was apprehensive. He was overjoyed. It took a few days to wrap my head around the idea and a few weeks to get comfortable with it. He started brushing up on symptoms, cravings, and all the stuff you think you need to know when you're pregnant (or when your wife is).
You know what I didn't do? I didn't read one thing about pregnancy - not one. I had friends who had been or were currently pregnant during the time I was. I had heard all the horror stories of what if this happens during labor or what if that happens to the baby and I decided that I wanted none of that dialogue. I figured women had been delivering babies for centuries, surely I could too. I had a supportive (and well read) husband and a great doctor whom I trusted, what more did I need to know? I continued with my regular diet, kept up with my usual exercise regimen, I dyed my hair on schedule, took the occasional bubble bath and drank the once in a while glass of wine. I acted like nothing had changed, except my entire body had!! I was not great at embracing being pregnant. I would even go as far as to say I really did not enjoy it. I KNOW how fortunate I am to be able to have children, I know so many women personally who have struggled with it. I felt guilty about that, but the type A person that I am (self diagnosed), was not at all into the growing a baby part. I'm fascinated to this day by the science of it, but not when it was happening to me!
Here's my pregnancy secret - you know your body. You know if something needs attention, if you're feeling even a little bit uncertain, call your doctor. If you feel uneasy about a phase you're going through, call your mother. If you just want to commiserate with someone, call your friends. Pregnancy is one of the hardest, most rewarding, exciting, special times of our lives. Communicating your needs and surrounding yourself with a strong support system is so important. Take it one day at a time and (try to) enjoy it. Growing a baby is truly a wonderful, crazy thing. I'm grateful to have had the 2 experiences I did that resulted in 2 amazing boys who I look at every day with wonder and amazement. Congratulations to you as you embark on this wonderful journey!!