I never believed in love at first sight or fairy tale romances. I am not a very emotional person, but that all changed the moment I became a mother.
I was told that there is not greater love or bond between a mother and her child, but that strong of a love was unfathomable to me until my son was born. I couldn't understand how I could love another human that much. The moment my 7 lb 4 oz baby boy was born, it was love at first sight. Like, crazy head over heels in love! I loved everything about him from the top of his head to the tips of his toes, and he is mine all mine. I couldn't get enough of that baby smell. Talk about intoxicating!
Along with motherhood came the tears, that I was unprepared for. No one told me I would become an emotional train wreck! I remember the day we were to be discharged from the hospital, I sat and cried almost all day. It was a constant stream of waterworks! I cried mainly because I knew in that moment, that my tiny baby boy would never be this small again. The thought of him growing, changing, and one day leaving, was breaking my new mother's heart. I selfishly wanted to keep him little, and still do wish that on occasion, no matter how crazy that seems. Time moves way too fast, if only there was a pause button on life so I can savor just a few extra moments.
During the past two years, its not the first, or the last time I will shed tears over my growing boy. I get teary eyed over new teeth and first words. Putting away clothes that he has out grown is my reality check that he is getting bigger, smarter, and more independent each day. The first time he said, "Luv you Mama," came with happy tears and a big smile. Those are the three greatest words in my world! They make all those sleepless nights and long days well worth it.
Becoming a mother has turned my world upside down, and for the better. I would be lying, if I said I don't occasionally miss my pre-baby life. I'm human and motherhood can be emotionally and physically exhausting. But my life, without him, would have a big gaping hole. I love him so unconditionally and fiercely that it hurts. As cheesy as it sounds, he made me believe in love at first sight.