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I don’t want to make one more decision

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I don’t know about you... but I am exhausted.

I don’t want to make ONE MORE decision: Big or small, petty or major. I don’t want to decide what’s for dinner. I don’t want to decide whether or not it’s safe for my kids to go to the pool, play with a friend, or return to on-campus or remote school.

I’m just tired, despite the pace of life screeching to a near halt.

My friends feel it. My kids feel it. My neighbors feel it. The strangers in the grocery feel it. Lord knows our educators and first responders feel it.

I just read that this type of fatigue is normal, even understandable. Our kids are experiencing a level of trauma. And, I imagine, we are too.

Even if this fatigue is normal, these are not normal times. Nothing about this feels normal. It’s like the mental load of motherhood on steroids.

—deep breath. The other day my daughter coughed and I almost had a panic attack.

I’ve heard others encouraging people to support one another no matter what decision they make. Because none of us really know what we are doing.

I talked to my mom yesterday. I shared with her that lately I don’t know what is OK and what is not OK. A lot of second guessing is going on. I told her I’m trying to trust my gut, even though it sometimes shifts and flip-flops ten times a day.

You know what she said?

“You are right. None of us know. But, it will be OK. You and your kids will be OK!”

Written by Valli Gideons on

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