Who Am I? This question is Who Aren't I? I am a wife, mother, grandmother, daughter, sister, aunt, friend. At fifty-seven years I continually absorb a great feast of life's delicious and distasteful offerings. I've become the woman I am with this makeup, able to greet each day with open arms to give and receive love and comfort and prayer, always prayer.
My defining Who Am I moment was not with the birth of my children or the birth of my first grandchild. No, it was receiving my youngest grandchild into our home seven years ago. Beginning new chapters at fifty presented a different set of challenges I'd never encountered before; like sleep deprevation, being the oldest parent at school, and learning how much money the tooth fairy now leaves!
Who Am I? I gingerly direct and feed into developing a healthy relationship between my grandchild and parent, my own child. This ongoing endeaver, out of love, is both rewarding and heartbreaking. I pray for words when speaking to my grandchild and I believe I receive them.
Who Am I? Mommy. One day he asked if he was in my belly like his cousins were in his auntie's. I prayed so fast for words. I held him and said, "No, you weren't in my belly. You were in a very special lady's belly. Later he told me, "Mommy, I am a very, very special boy. A lot of people wanted me, but Jesus gave me to you. You got your wish and now you have your special kid and no one can take me away."
My grandchild called me Mommy at two years old. That word is very impactful and profound. I did not correct him. We've grown together as Mommy and child. He said, "You are my mommy AND my grandma. That makes me SO lucky and SO special." (Oh sweet boy, that makes me so lucky and so special.)
Then, last summer while we were neck deep in a bubble pool, he told me he was going to call me Mimi, as my other grandchildren do. This was bittersweet for me. He's growing up and made this decision on his own. I embraced this as a wonderful gift as a sign of how he safe and loved he feels. No matter what I am called he knows my love will never change and that's amazing.
So, Who Am I? I continue to see life as a garden; planting seeds and sprinkling glitter along the way. Gardens will bloom and will wither. I know it is how I tend to MY garden that will show Who I Am.