Somehow before I even became a mother I already labeled myself as not enough.
I couldn't get pregnant on my own. I was infertility. My body was failing me. I wasn't enough.
Then, when I finally got pregnant and gave birth, I almost died. I didn’t get to meet the triplets for an entire day. I remember feeling like I wasn’t enough, like I failed them because my first moments with them were through a computer screen via FaceTime.
And then 3 months into their lives I made the decision to stop breastfeeding. I wasn’t enough then either.
It wasn’t long until GERD kicked in. Not only did I feel incredibly helpless, but I felt inadequate as a mother. I had no idea how what I was doing and felt exhausted all the time. I wasn’t enough.
My body has also changed dramatically since I grew three humans at one time. Sometimes I don’t even feel comfortable in my own skin; the wrinkles, the sag. I’ve even wondered, “is my husband attracted to me anymore because this is not sexy?” I am not enough.
There was also the day my doctor diagnosed me with postpartum depression and anxiety and prescribed me medication to help me function day to day. That was a day I will never forget, a day when I truly felt like I wasn’t enough.
My daughter almost drowned this summer. I failed her. I didn’t keep her safe. I wasn’t enough then either.
If only I could have seen that I have always been enough and I will always be enough.
I needed some help to get pregnant. It doesn't make me a failure. I am enough.
On the day I almost died delivering my babies, I brought 3 lives into this world. I am enough.
On the day I chose to stop breastfeeding, I chose to feed my babies. I am enough.
I felt helpless all those months my babies suffered with gerd, but I did everything I could to help them. I am enough.
On the day I was diagnosed with PPD and anxiety, I made a choice to change, to be healthy for my family, to be a better me. I am enough.
My body is different now. I brought life into this world and that is so beautiful. There is a new found confidence and I have to cling to that. I am enough.
My daughter almost drowned this summer, but she survived because I saved her. I am enough.
It is very easy to twist our perspective as a mother and see all our faults, but Mama, change what you see because I guarantee you are enough too!
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