Parents, you’ve got questions, we’ve got answers.

Or just as likely, we’ve got questions and you’ve got answers.

Challenge: Open Discussion

Guilty of Yelling - What Losing My Voice Taught Me

0
Vote up!
Share on Facebook Share on Twitter Email this article

92c12bb355a41355ce7e6eb5310c0cf44ea23297.jpg

"You've lost your voice?!" His eyes were wide.

Anticipating his words of sympathy, and being wrapped up in a hug, I stepped toward him. He leaned backwards, looked up, pumped his fists in the air and said "I've been praying for this day for 18 years, prayers really do get answered!"

Obviously, I couldn't help but laugh before giving him the evil eye. On his way out of the bathroom he quipped "Good bye my love, I really hope you don't get better soon." Keep laughing I thought, guess who I was making out with two days ago, just before coming down with this lovely little plague that our kids had passed to me? Karma is coming for him.

When I woke the kids up and motioned to them that I'd lost my voice they were so concerned, and sweetly gave me big hugs and well wishes.

For the last couple of mornings we have been running late getting out the door for school. It resulted in me yelling. More than normal. It had seemed as though I'd asked them to do the same tasks ten times and that they'd only gotten up and started moving when I actually yelled at them. I realize that it's helpful to plan ahead and give yourself extra time (I had done that) but you know what, I swear it just makes my kids move at even more of a sloth like pace not having me rush them.

However, I get it, It's not good to yell at your kids. How many times have we all heard that? I have spent countless hours feeling guilty about totally losing it (my patience and probably a bit of my sanity) and yelling at my kids. Have you been there too? Guilt, guilt, guilt.

So I thought loosing my voice was a kind of a blessing in disguise. I was going to get everyone out the door, to school on time, just whispering at them. Then I could carry lessons learned today with me. I could learn to yell less.

Now, if you're looking for inspiration to get your children to school on time, in a quiet and relaxing way, you are going to be disappointed. Guess what I learned today? CHILDREN NEED TO BE YELLED AT SOMETIMES. They need to be rushed along sometimes.

Think about how many times you tell them to be quiet. Why is that? Kids are loud. Hell, talk-shouting is their way of communicating! It's their natural way of communicating. Plus, it gets them attention. Kids respond to loud. So guess what? Sometimes you need to get loud to draw their attention too.

Am I suggesting we all start yelling at our kids? No. Obviously, we are trying to convert them into humans that DON'T give us headaches, or cause us to consume alcohol and/or copious amounts of caffeine, and make us pray for bedtime. To accomplish that we need teach them to communicate calmly and quietly.

So we talk to them calmly and kindly. A lot of times we have to repeat ourselves over, and over, and over again. Yet, there will still be times when numerous prompts get zero response. Sometimes we are going to have to yell. So let's all just cut it out with the guilt!!

Seriously, it's part of parenting. Sometimes, you are going to yell. Sometimes you are going to run late. Sometimes your kids are going to make you crazy. That doesn't mean that you are not doing a great job. It's just part of this magical and maddening journey called parenthood. So we need to stop berating ourselves with feelings of guilt.

Now I'm going to sit and enjoy a quiet moment, guilt free, and you should too.

This post comes from the TODAY Parenting Team community, where all members are welcome to post and discuss parenting solutions. Learn more and join us! Because we're all in this together.