I had a patient crying in my office today and it had nothing to do with her neurologic state. She was crying because she was the victim of mom shaming. I know you’ve heard this before, but listen up because it’s my turn.
I don’t know about you, but when my babies came blasting out of my uterus, they didn’t come with a manual. I kept my babies out of crowded public areas until they had their 8 week shots. I have friends who took them to Wegmans on the way home from the hospital. Does that make me a better mom than them? No.
Ryker didn’t have a name for almost a week after he was born. Most of my friends went to the hospital with names picked out. Am I a bad mom? No. I breastfeed for a year typically and yet I have friends who use formula from day 1 and others who BF until age 2+. Am I right and they’re wrong? Nope.
Am I a bad mom because I’m a working mom? I don’t think so. Are my SAHM friends bad moms because they choose full time parenting over employment outside the home? Um no. I bathe my kids twice per week and sometimes swim lessons count, am I still good? Yep. My kids’ toys are everywhere and some of my friends have perfect Pinterest toy rooms. Should I hang my head because I’m a bad mom? NO.
I workout most days and some moms only exercise their mouths as they yell at their monsters (I get that workout sometimes, too.) So am I good and they’re bad? Nope. I let my kids watch one show most nights of the week. My other friend only lets her kids watch a movie on Fridays. Are we both good moms? Yep. I sleep train my babies. My other friend enjoys time with her wee ones alllll night long. Good moms? Yes.
My good friend had a natural birth and I ensured I was bffs with all of anesthesiology long before admission. Good? Yep. I let my kids eat stuff they’ve dropped on the floor yet I buy organic fruits and veggies. Still good. The point is, as long as you’re doing your best to feed them, dress them (although, mine prefer naked to clothed most of the time), keep them away from moving vehicles, and eventually teach them to not SH_T their pants you’re doing a FABULOUS job!
There’s no way to be a perfect mom and a million ways to be a good one, my friends.