Girl, listen up!
You’ve been told that you need to stop apologizing.
You’ve been told that you need to find Jesus.
You’ve been told that you need to speak up.
You've been told to stop playing the comparison game.
You've been told to stop listening to everything so-called parenting, marriage and general life experts, mainstream media and even perfect Karen from your mommy playgroup tell you.
All of that is excellent advice.
However, I have a more critical directive for you, and you've just got to abide by this one, okay?
GIRL, GET YOUR HAIR DONE!
Not because you’re looking a wreck.
Not because you need to appear aligned with society’s beauty standards.
Not because Susan in the school pick-up line said that you should.
Not because balayage is the new fad and you must be "on-trend."
Not because you feel that your husband deserves a more put-together looking you on the regular.
And, not because you’re not already pretty.
You, my friend, are a gorgeous, selfless, intelligent, compassionate, creative, bomb** human being.
I'll repeat that for those in the back.
You, my friend, are a gorgeous, selfless, intelligent, compassionate, creative, bomba** human being.
You are a freakin' superwoman who made and is raising other human beings (or maybe just one), and you deserve to pamper yourself.
Quite frankly, you deserve that please-don't-ever-stop head massage that is tailored especially for you by your hairdresser (a.k.a. therapist) while you lean back into that shampoo bowl.
You deserve that glass of wine, cup of coffee or bottle of water they typically offer you.
You deserve to lose yourself in a silly magazine and for that hour only ponder what the latest lipstick color might look like on your puckers or internally overanalyze the newest celebrity couple break-up.
You deserve to peruse social media at your leisure while someone else gives you a blowout during those few minutes you are not at home dealing with your toddler's. Eww.
You deserve to look at the girl the mirror and love what you see.
Do you need a haircut, color or extensions to love your appearance?
Can a haircut, some color or a few extensions help boost your confidence?
Ever since I was a kid, I’ve always loved to play (my hairdresser would probably call it torture) with my hair.
The fact is that I love to change it, and often.
But, I don’t think my constant desire to “change it up” is indeed about my hair.
I've always been a little “different,” for lack of a better term and maybe you have too.
I was never so far out of the box, but I've always been a little eccentric.
I still am.
And, not in my mannerisms -- those have been, and remain to be, very proper and mostly aligned with “normal” etiquette -- but in my style choices, makeup and hair preferences, I have always done my own thing.
Let's call it being quirky.
So, why is it that I have always enjoyed making changes to my look?
Why do I like have a bleach blonde asymmetrical pixie cut one day and a long, brunette, bouffant pony the next?
Because I think that change is vital to self-discovery and overall happiness.
Change is a form of self-acceptance, and when we make a change to our appearance, we are telling ourselves, and the world, that we have self-love and that we both own and appreciate each facet of our personality.
Girl, get your hair done!
Because it is exhilarating and fun.
Because it draws people to you and human connection is fantastic.
Because it is therapeutic -- the actual process of it and the conversation during.
Because you won’t know if you like the desired change until you try it out.
And, because you deserve some self-care time.
"But you don't look like a mom," they say. "Moms shouldn't have pink their hair," they remark. "Extensions are only for models," they add.
Do you know why I am not only comfortable but proud to model a stripe of pink, a pixie, some platinum blonde extensions or any other change for my children?
Because it teaches them that change is okay.
That change can be fun.
That change can encourage personal growth in the form of self-awareness and self-confidence.
That change is an easy way to fix something that you don’t like.
That even small changes can increase your courage ten-fold.
That something so minuscule as changing a small part of your "look" can change your attitude and let’s face it, sometimes we all need an attitude adjustment.
That change motivates you to keep being yourself.
Listen, I admit it.
Why I probably change my look up so much is that being stagnant both and bores frightens me.
In most facets of my life, like in my marriage and my role as a parent, I am pretty rigid and inflexible.
But, I have found this little sweet spot -- my appearance, especially my hair -- where I don’t feel like it's wrong or bad or scary to change things up whenever the heck I want.
And, I am relishing in that, and I wish the same for you.
Hence my overstated directive, once again --
Girl, get your hair done!