Parents, you’ve got questions, we’ve got answers.

Or just as likely, we’ve got questions and you’ve got answers.

Challenge: Raising Siblings

Dear Kids, I’m not going to be fair.

Vote up!
Share on Facebook Share on Twitter Email this article


Dear kids,

You weren’t wrong when you shouted, “Not fair!” at me today. You weren’t wrong when you accused me of giving more attention to your sibling today.

Because I’ll be the first to admit, I’m simply not always going to be fair.

I will not be fair because my job is to prepare you for life out in this big, wide world and as cliché as it sounds, life just isn’t fair.

The truth is there will always be one of you that needs more of me. And there’s only one of me.

So while one gets all of me, the others…just don’t.

It may not look like I’m being fair to each of you minute by minute, and that’s because it’s not. I have cultivated my mama skills to fit each of your personalities just so. Because I know that one of you needs me to be more stern and the other needs more gentle. I know that one of you needs me to be silent and listen, to sit back and watch you learn from your own mistakes, and the other needs me to intervene and give multiple warnings.

Although it may look like I’m giving your sibling more grace, I know that a two year old needs more warnings and extra grace than a seven year old. I know that you have more potential than you see in yourself, and I know you can reach high expectations when I set them. As each of your grow, so does my knowledge and experience. So, I too, am learning from mistakes and can adapt my parenting style for the younger siblings. I know that there are privileges that come with being the oldest and the youngest, and there are also different rules that comes with each of those too.

But I promise you that I will be equal in my love for you. I promise that I will give each of you my undivided attention when I’m able. I promise that I will make it my mission to protect you, and love you to the end of the earth. I promise to do everything in my power to meet your needs, and even some of your wants.

I promise that when you each were infants, I rocked you and sang to you until you fell asleep comfy and cozy on my chest. I promise that when each of you were born, I slept with one open to make sure you were safe. And when each of you cried in the middle of the night, I nursed you and didn’t sleep until you were tucked back in your bed dry, clean, and peacefully asleep.

I promise that when each of you were toddlers, I was gentle but consistent as you learned your manners, and how to navigate your new world. I promise that I cheered and cried each time each of you took your first steps. I promise that I pray for each of you every single night.

My sweet babies, I simply cannot be fair.

But I promise you I will always be equal and you will always be loved in different ways but completely equally just the same.

This post comes from the TODAY Parenting Team community, where all members are welcome to post and discuss parenting solutions. Learn more and join us! Because we're all in this together.