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By the Light of the Monitor: Here We Go Again

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I was just here 14 years ago. The diagnosis was similar, yet not the same.

“Life long.”

“They can live a normal life.”

“You just have to learn to manage the condition.”

“We are lucky that we caught it when we did.”

“You are so brave.”

“They are lucky to have parents like you.”

All over again. Here we go again.

By the light of the monitor, I write because that is what you do when you are stuck in a hospital with a child who is sleeping, trying to let their body recover. Life stands still. Everything outside these walls doesn’t really matter. There is no constant TV playing the news. They are playing anything kids want to keep them occupied.

When they sleep, you sleep. Or you try to get comfortable on the chair, with the plastic pillows and the not fluffy blankets.

You haven’t showered in a few day because that would require you to leave your child, and, well, that just isn’t going to happen unless I’m running down stairs to get a cup of coffee or grab a quick bite to eat.

You rely on everyone else to help with all the daily things.

You forget the day, the week, the bills that are due, or other small things that before coming into the hospital were uber important to get done. They just kind of sit on the back burner.

You might even forget what outside looks like. The windows are usually facing walls and the views are not that of the ocean or a beach. And I’m longing for sunshine on my face.

No one really cares what you look like in here either. They have one concern. Getting your child better and sending you home.

So by the light of the monitor, I watch again as my little one sleeps. I’m once again researching and finding support groups for us to learn again about our new normal.

The diagnosis: Type 1 Diabetes.

Our new normal will be different. But as I’ve always said. It could be worse. So we will carry on and live like we always do. Just thankful there are good people to help us learn the ways so we can manage it and keep her healthy. And if there is one lesson I have learned in the last 14 years, I know I can do this. Here we go again.

Marisa Langford is a That Mom of Four. She blogs as @TampaMama and talks about everything and anything that goes into raising good kids (and living in Tampa with kids). She’s also the Mom of three children who have a rare medical condition (too complicated to say) and of one child who has just been diagnosed with Type 1 Diabetes. This is a series of her writings entitled By The Light of the Minitor. All written By the Light of the Monitor on numerous hospital visits with her children where she uses her college all-nighter skills and writes while they sleep. Follow her on Instagram here.

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