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Baby girl, Please Stop Racing Time

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You bump your head because you weren’t looking where you were going, and you were going way too fast. We both laugh until tears form in our eyes blurring our visions.

I hold you in my arms nursing the bump from your fall while rubbing the small of your back.

You always want to bolt ahead, but I see you racing the clock as well.

Tag, time is it, wildly competing against both of us—especially you.

Why are you always in such a rush?

This life gets harder when you get older and start understanding what is out there. When you start knowing some hard truths like not everyone is nice, and no one knows what the heck they are doing here. And when you think you have an inkling of what you may be here for, your trajectory changes, or a curveball may be thrown your way. Because life is messy and unpredictable and helter-skelter is the norm.

So my sweet girl, just stay put where you are in the here and now with me. There is no need to ruffle a sweet and innocent soul.

You are always going too fast. You want to put on your own pants, socks, and shoes— “doing it myself,” you scream. You already want to wear lip gloss and nail polish and prance around in a dress, twirling in circles, trying to pass the time.

As children, we think of ways to waste time. We want to get older. We want that freedom, and the faster we get there, the better. But as adults, we know that there is no need to rush our innocence away. The young don’t know this due to lack of clarity, patience, and lack of experience, but us older and wiser folks, know our kids should stay present instead of wishing their lives away.

You hardly want to hold my hand. I reach for you, and you reject me, way too often. Every day my hand will be slowly swatted away more and more, and soon my hand will be left bare instead of with your five little fingers clenched within mine.

So my sweet girl, just stay put where you are in the here and now with me. There is no need to ruffle a sweet and innocent soul.

As I have gotten older, and have been through tough times, I now fully recognize the evaporation of time. I know what it's like to miss out, and not be living--- to function on standstill. I used to want it to pass by, just like you do, get it over with. Not anymore.

Time is everything.

I refuse to blink and have it all gone.

I want to participate and partake in every step of your growth. I want it to feel drudgingly slow for you too because I want both of us to take it all in.

I want to take you all in, just enough so when you leave me, I will still have you with me.

Then when you come back, we won’t miss a beat. My baby, we are ingrained into each other so strongly, cut from the same cloth and woven so entwined.

We are one in this race with time.

This post originally appeared on the author's Facebook . Her book Living FULL: Winning My Battle with Eating Disorder is available on Amazon:

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