What I need in a friend is for you not to need me.
What the hell is she talking about?
I'll tell you.
You can want me, but please don't NEED me.
Right now, at this point in my life, with
three kids under the age of eight,
a plethora of their activities to transport them to and attend,
a marriage to keep afloat,
a house to keep clean,
pets to take care of,
bills to be paid,
and a business I'm trying to build,
I've got too many responsibilities already,
and little time and energy left to give.
I sound like a sh*tty friend, don't I?
But I'm not.
And, here's why.
I can give you these things --
and the like,
And I'll also give you,
And, sure, if it comes down to it and really NEED ME need me, then I'll rush over, like a bat out of hell, and give you all that I've got.
But, on the daily, I simply need you to want me and not need me.
Because if you need daily face-to-faces, I'm not your girl.
If you need my full attention in the presence of my kids, I'm not your girl.
If you need me to be the kind of friend that says "yes" to all your last-minute plans, I'm not your girl.
If you need someone who enjoys talking on the phone for longer than ten minutes (or really at all), then
However, if you're cool with a friend who prefers text communication, I'm her.
If you are good with the fact that I might not text you back for a week and then text you like I didn't unintentionally ghost you for seven days, I'm her.
If you're down for making plans that will 90% likely get canceled, I'm the one for you.
If you seek and appreciate people who are authentic as hell, but incredibly imperfect, then
And, if all this is making sense and it sounds like I am your type of friend, well then, holy heck, I think you're mine too.
At thirty-plus years of age, I just don't see the need in deceiving anyone, and maybe you don't either.
It's a lot easier to make and keep friends when we acknowledge, accept, and not only share who we genuinely are but openly state what it is we need and want from others and what it is we are capable of giving back to them.
What I need in a friend is for you not to NEED me until you absolutely need me and if and when that time comes, I'll will not only want to but WILL show up.
And I'll do that, because you understand enough to wholly accept me for me, and that I've got a full plate and life, and so do you.
And, while that doesn't mean there isn't room for each of us in each other's lives, it does sometimes mean that we desire to be wanted, but a little less needed and there is entirely nothing wrong with that.
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