Dear Jackson,

This will be our 12th Mother’s Day together but our second where life is still not quite back to “normal” (whatever that means!). I’ve had a year to reflect on so many things not only as your mom and as a professional, but as a mom who works in tech. After all, tech is what we’ve had to rely on for pretty much everything: to go to school, to work, to maintain relationships with friends, and to communicate with anyone outside of our home. For a vibrant, active 12-year-old boy who loves being with his buddies more than anything in the world, I can’t imagine how difficult that must have been – how difficult it still is – for you, especially when half the time I’m telling/begging/pleading with you to get off of your devices.

You’ve always been so thoughtful in your handmade gifts to me…cards, clay sculptures…pencil sketches…I cherish them all. But this Mother’s Day, just like our world has been turned around, I’m turning it around to share what I’ve learned from you – things you have taught me without even knowing it.

1. You turn everything into art. I mean EVERYTHING. From your math homework to your arm, dinner napkins to my dirty windshield, your drawings bring all of the wonderful things going on inside of your head to life. All I have to do is walk around our house to see your creative stamp, and it always makes me smile. Like one of my favorite books as a kid, Harold and the Purple Crayon, anyone who crosses your path is lucky to be blessed with your unique beauty and imagination. You color my world.

2. Your humor is infectious. Your wit is sharp as a tack. You have an uncanny way of diffusing even the tensest of situations (especially when you know you did something wrong and I am at my wit’s end) because you’re just SO.DANG.FUNNY. Okay, so maybe your language is a bit inappropriate at times, but anyone who can make his mom break into a belly laugh and forget why she is actually mad is headed for great things in life.

3. You have so much love for your teachers and it shows. Nothing has taxed them more than this pandemic and I have never seen a group of educators come together under duress the way yours did. They came up with countless ways to keep you engaged, some exploring their own tech skills with TikToks and interactive activities that blew my mind. You have been grateful and kind to them with a love that extends beyond the classroom. When your tutor tragically lost her husband less than one month after getting married, you wanted to do nothing but comfort her and shower her with love. We all did, buddy.

4. I’m not going to lie. You have tested my patience beyond words but your heart always wins. Even on our worst days – on my worst days – you know the ones…the times when you pushed me to my max, you still showed me love. A text to “check in,” a phone call to “say hi” (even from another room when you didn’t want to see me). Your heart is big, buddy. Huge. And those small acts of kindness toward me did not go unnoticed. Don’t ever stop doing them when you are upset with people you love. I promise I won’t, either.

5. You’ve reminded me to walk the walk. As a tech exec at a company whose sole mission is to keep kids safer online, I spend an inordinate amount of time on numerous devices. From Slacking colleagues to testing out the latest apps, hosting Facebook Lives and webinars to Tweeting and running Zoom meetings, there’s virtually no digital downtime in my world. Yet, how can I be so hypocritical as to limit your screen time when I don’t limit mine? You remind me in your own subtle ways how important it is to turn it all off…to play on the floor with you and the dogs, to cuddle on the couch, to draw together, to leave my phone in another room. I need you to keep reminding me of this so that I can continue to be the role model that you deserve.

6. Watching you reconnect with your friends proves that nothing beats REAL face time. Sure, being able to communicate with people on a screen is something I never imagined we would see in our lifetime and is amazing. But the pure joy you have shown after seeing your friends in person after so much time apart has been priceless. And it’s a lesson for me, too. Just because we have the tech at our fingertips, doesn’t always mean we have to use it. It may be easier to take calls from our houses in our PJs, but we should never let screens get in the way of maintaining in-person interactions, ones where there are no filters and no ways to alter our image.

7. My job sometimes takes me to dark places as we see the worst of the worst online. Predators, cyberbullies, and people who don’t have kids’ best interests in mind. People who use technology to exploit and harm. But I’ve also seen the projects you do at school and at home to help others using that same technology, especially those whose lives have been destroyed by this pandemic. You’ve used the internet to better people’s lives, and for that I am grateful.

8. You’ve shown me that inner peace can be found in the simplest of ways. When the power went out back in January, we sat on the floor with candles and played for hours. We had no distractions. Just me, you, dad, and the dogs. And while it was frustrating wondering when it would come on again, it was so liberating knowing there was absolutely nothing we could do about it.

9. You’ve kept me on my “A” game. Because you were online pretty much all day, every day, I had to familiarize myself with your digital world – your tween speak and emojis, to know how you communicate with your friends. I needed to get a handle on the apps you wanted to download, learn the games you wanted to play (making TikToks with you was so fun!), find out which platforms were safe and which were sketchy. It wasn’t always easy and it caused a lot of friction in our house, but it was yet another reminder to me as a parent to never get lazy and let tech take over.

10. The biggest reflection of all: you make me proud to be your mom. Being home with you and experiencing day-to-day life through your eyes has enabled me to watch you grow in so many unexpected ways. I used to think I had to be a perfect “rock” of strength for you, and that if you sensed weakness or brokenness, you would feel uncertain about your surroundings. However, being able to be vulnerable and share my journey with anxiety and depression with you will hopefully help you be more empathetic and compassionate towards others. Everyone has their thing(s) they struggle with, we just don’t always see it (especially on Instagram). While I wouldn’t wish this pandemic and the pain it inflicted upon anyone, years from now, we will both look back on this time and know that we also experienced something extraordinary. And that is the best Mother’s Day gift of all. I love you so much, forever and ever, Amen – or as your generation says it – ILYSM.