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Middle school can be hard. Here's what I want my son to know

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Dear son,

Not everyone will get you. Be patient. You will continue to find your people.

Friends aren't meant to be collected. Good ones last a lifetime.

Even if you aren't a natural athlete, grit will be the characteristic that separates you. When you run, you have an angel on your shoulder.


Wear deodorant.

Girls. It's OK for them to be "just friends" because you are too young for romance anyway. The good ones will secretly like your shyness.

Humility is hard – but, important.

Be confident. It's not cocky to embrace your strengths.

Talking is better than texting.

Teenagers are weird – and you are one of them. It's OK. It'll pass.

Politely ask people to speak up.

Calling an adult sir or ma'am shows respect and also points out you are not from around here. Military kids are unique in that way. Be quiet during the National Anthem, face the flag and take off your hat.

Brush and floss your teeth.

You can mix plaids and stripes. If you go there, though, you gotta own it.

Bed-head can be a style. (But perhaps shouldn't be!)

Find the kid who is eating alone and sit with them.

Looking people in the eyes will get easier with practice.


Laughing at yourself is endearing but being self-deprecating is not.

Own your mistakes. Learn and grow from them. We've all made them.


Always pat a teammate on the back when they put their chin down.

Chew with your mouth closed. Yes, ketchup does taste good on almost everything but it's messy so use a napkin.

PE clothes should be washed more than once a week. They smell. Then you smell, and no one likes a smelly kid.

Trust God has a great and bold plan for you.

Be you. Trying to be cool is totally uncool. Square pegs end up changing the world.

Kindness is golden.

Hold doors. Say please and thank you. Try using "You're welcome" instead of "no problem" because serving others isn't a chore.

Develop a firm handshake but not too firm and certainly not limp.


When you feel down, turn your gaze up.

Read. Draw. Listen to music. Play outside. Devices make you kind of boring. Look up. Unplug. Be still.

In closing, my beautiful son, know you were designed perfectly imperfect. You will make mistakes. And you will do and say dumb things – maybe even have some regrets. But, you will also overcome.

Persevere. And we will be here to guide you, support you, and love you.

I pray someday you look back on these years and see the greatness we see.


Written by Valli Vida Gideons on

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