Sometimes, your child makes you angry as he seems lazy and has not a care in the world. However, when you react without thinking about what you’re saying or doing, instead of encouraging your child to behave properly, you might find that your child does the exact opposite and misbehaves. No doubt, a child needs discipline, but here are 9 suggestions to ensure that your child does what you want with ease.
Choose a Different Environment
Sometimes, you don’t need to shout at your child when he misbehaves. Instead, all you need to do is to change the environment. For instance, if you don’t want your child to play with the remote control, place it somewhere out of his reach.
Many children enjoy a role reversal game where they exchange their role with an adult. Say your child has a problem at school, pretend to be your child and ask him to be the teacher. You’ll find that you might have new insight into the problems your child is having in school. In addition, your child might learn how he could have handled certain situations differently.
Teach Your Child to Calm Down
Many parents will tell you that when their children fight, it’s often hard to figure out which child is to blame. Instead of wasting energy trying to apportion blame and mete out punishment, teach your child to calm down and practise diaphragmatic breathing – place one hand on the abdomen and the other on the chest. When he breathes with his chest, this can be a sign that he’s stressed. Teach your child to breathe with his abdomen, instead. More detailed explanations and illustrations of this breathing technique, which has a basis in yoga, can be gained by visiting the Kundalini Yoga website.
Teach Your Child to Take Charge
Adults are taught ‘self-management’ skills in many organisations. Teach these same skills to your child. For instance, if you are constantly writing notes to remind your child to tidy up his room, why don’t you ask him to write his own notes? Children feel great pride when they can see the progress they’re making and feel in charge of their lives.
Time for a Time Out
Usually, when a child misbehaves, a parent will punish him by saying, “Go to your room”. What parents fail to realize is that the bedroom is often the child’s favorite place – it might be filled with his toys, a stereo system or even a television. He should be deprived of something when he’s being punished, not sent to his room. Insist that your child sit in a corner (which can be extremely dull for him) and think about what he’s done.
Hold On Gently
Many professionals suggest that parents should guide their children manually. Say your daughter is taking too long to comb her hair. Instead of shouting at her to hurry up, put your hand on hers and say, in gentle tones, something like, “I’m getting late. Why don’t you finish this in the car?”
Make Your Signals Clear
Sometimes, your child is confused by the signals you’re giving him. For instance, there might be times when you’re working in your study and don’t want to be disturbed. Teach your child that when there’s a red ribbon tied around the door handle, he’s not to come in unless it’s an emergency. When there isn’t one, he’s free to enter your study.
To get your child to do his chores, provide suitable incentives for him. If your child goes the extra mile and finishes all his homework as well as helps you sort the laundry, don’t let such an accomplishment go by without praising him. You’ll find that your child will, in future, be more willing to help around the house.
The most powerful way your child will learn how to behave well is to watch you and model your behaviour. If you shout to get your own way all the time, your child will learn this trait. If you neglect to do the dishes, your child will be reluctant to do the dishes as well. If you want your child to develop a reading habit, then you must develop the habit too.
The suggestions made above are not hard to follow. You might have to adjust your habits, behavior and how you interact with your child, but the benefits will far outweigh any effort on your part. In no time at all, your child will say yes whenever you ask him to do something for you.
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