Behind every Pinterest perfect Christmas tree, flawlessly decorated mantel, and plateful of red and green sugar-sprinkled cookies typically lies a frazzled mom who’s about ready to lose it. Although some moms sail through the season without the tiniest hint of twisted tinsel, other moms are blinded in a blizzard of endless to-do lists and plum pudding panic.
No matter which end of the spectrum you fall, or maybe you’re somewhere in the middle, if you are one of the frazzled moms out there, you might appreciate knowing that you’re definitely not alone. Here’s 6 things “frazzled” moms do during the holidays:
Shop WAY More for Themselves Than They Do For Their Kids
When the holiday shopping season kicks off, we start out with all good intentions. ”I need to buy that Adidas sweatshirt for Cara, and, Oh, Brandon wants that gadget for his phone,” but somehow, in the craziness of the season, and maybe because we’re feeling just a little sorry for ourselves, we end up buying way more presents for ourselves than we do for our kids. And, since we have years of academy training in the art of rationalization, when our husband asks us why there’s a pile of price tags in the trash can and no presents under the tree, we calmly look at him and say, “Don’t give me that look…the kids have way too much stuff anyway.”
Cook (a Lot) Less
You know it’s the holidays when you and the pizza delivery guy are on a first-name basis and your freezer is packed with Hot Pockets, corn dogs, and mozzarella sticks. When you’re on your feet for hours in the mall searching for the perfect gifts for kids, knowing full well they’re going to return every single one of them the day after Christmas, it’s exhausting. Who feels like coming home and making dinner? Even the thought of making a measly grilled cheese sandwich is too much to bear, so you just call Henry… he’s the nice man who’s been bringing dinner to your door the last two weeks.
Drink (a Lot) More
It starts out with a little Bailey’s in our coffee, a half a shot of vodka in our iced tea at lunch and by the time dinner rolls around we’re chugging the bottle of wine knowing full well we have to muster up the energy to wrap 6,000 presents. By the time we’re done wrapping you can see the effects of the alcohol. The first few presents are wrapped so perfectly…each with its own little bow, curly ribbon, and gift tag, “To Sarah, Merry Christmas sweetheart! We love you! Love, Mom and Dad.” After six straight hours of wrapping and a couple of bottles of wine later, the last present is half thrown together with leftover crumpled wrapping paper, no bow, no curly ribbon and a name tag you slap on that reads, “To: S, If you hate it, return it yourself.”
Blow the Budget Out of the Water
Budget? What budget? Back in November you and your husband had a long, serious talk about how the kids are getting older, how they really don’t need as much and why you should scale back this Christmas. You look into his eyes with total sincerity and promise on your great uncle’s grave to oblige by his wishes. Two weeks later you’re desperately trying to hide gifts (and the credit card bill) in obscure places you hope he’ll never look like under the mattress in the guest bedroom and behind the washing machine. And, because you’re the master of rationalization, you think to yourself, “Who cares about the budget? It’s the holidays! We’ll worry about paying for it in January!”
Keep Shopping LONG After You Tell Yourself You’re Done
Here lies the issue for us moms…Christmas is just one big calculation. The more kids you have, the more calculations you have to do. This is how it goes… “Johnny only has eight gifts to open, but he’s just going to have to get over it because we spent way more freaking money on him that we did, Mary. But, then again, I don’t want him to think that I love him less because he has less to open so I better go buy him more stuff.” Am I right moms? We line everything up on the bedroom floor when our kids are asleep and we calculate how many gifts each kid will get to open on Christmas morning. If one of our kids has more than the other (regardless of how much darn money we spent on them), we try to “even it out.” In our attempts to even everything out, we end up buying 57 more presents that our kids don’t need, don’t want and will never use.
Develop a Serious Case of Road Rage
You’re usually such a nice person…patient, understanding, and kind, except, that is, around the holidays. How is it possible that every crummy driver on the planet lands directly in front of you going 16mph in a 40mph zone while other driver’s sit and text at a green light completely oblivious to the line of cars behind them blowing their horns? Nothing and I mean nothing, is more frustrating than having a holiday to-do list a mile long and dealing with driver’s who clearly took driving lessons from Miss Daisy. You try your best to refrain from getting out of your car and beating them with a candy cane, so instead, you crank up the holiday music as loud as you can and keep telling yourself over and over, “The best way to spread Christmas cheer is singly loud for all to hear.”