1. Forget the world around you. At least for a moment.
Those were the words my mom spoke that echoed in my head when I became a mother of two boys. She saw how crazed my life was with a rambunctious toddler and attached baby. She carefully observed how distressed I had become with the motherly duties that I faced each day.
The daily chasing after an almost-anemic toddler to make sure he ate everything off his plate. The constant worry and anxiety over a defiant child whose day was full of rough-housing. The concern to clean the filthy onesie my baby wore. The food on my plate I neglected to nourish myself with before nursing my baby.
Because there was always someone who needed my attention or something that required my intervention.
But she knew what I was going through. She saw the bags under my eyes, disheveled hair and quickly thinning body. My concern for every little thing around me, except for myself. And she felt for me. Even though she herself had raised 5 kids, alone.
Maybe it was her wisdom through experience that caused her to relay such a real message: Stop worrying about everything and take care of yourself!
And I’ve just started to embrace that now, whether it means finishing my meal, letting the baby cry a little in the crib to shower or taking a timeout for myself when needed. Because if I don’t do it now, I may never get a chance.
2. Don’t cry over spilled milk.
Literally. Kids make messes. Yes even right after you’ve just wiped up the milk your kid spit out from his sippy cup 5 minutes ago! Things are bound to get dirty, and rather than scream and shout all day about it, remember it’s just milk…and there are worse things to worry about.
3. Let him do it his way.
Even if it isn’t up to my standards, even if it’s a little messy even if it causes me stress. Let my husband handle things on his own, without a fight or constant scrutiny. The diaper changes, the outfit choice or the bath mess. Because the last thing she wants for me is to have a troubled marriage with constant arguing that leads to divorce like she experienced when my siblings and I were quite young.
4. Keep family close.
In an ideal world, I would have all my close family members living within a 10-mile radius from each other so we could watch our kids grow up together, visit each other throughout the week or simply have someone to turn to when faced with a problematic situation. But that’s not reality.
Even though I don’t have my mom close enough to see everyday, I treasure the wisdom she shares with me over the phone when I’m facing a new predicament. She reminds me to keep my family close, whether in thought or person and reach out to them on occasion to show them love.
5. Don’t forget to pray.
Prayer has a way of bringing you peace and helping you manage life’s stresses. I was raised Catholic and had those good-girl Catholic values instilled in me from my mother. Of course, like any human I have my moments and can get to a very negative place. Nobody’s perfect. But my mom reminds me that when I can, to make time to pray for guidance - because moms have a tough job and there’s no way they can do it alone, unless from a higher power.
I know I won't be able to embrace all mom's wisdom overnight, but I'm hoping to keep her words close and live them out as life unfolds.
Thank you for sharing your wisdom mom!
You can visit Ana's blog to connect with her.