2020: My year to connect.
Another year. Another chance to start anew. Another reset with the best of intentions to better yourself. Whether it is physically, emotionally, mentally, spiritually or socially. We all have the best of intentions when the new year rolls around. It feels like a chance to start fresh! And for good reason. Not only is this a new year, this is a new decade.
Last year I set the goal of intentional family time. It was a great way to chisel away time for my family each and every month and give them the focus, energy, and time that they deserve. If you are looking for a wonderful way to start off the new decade, check out my post from last year. We plan on doing this again in 2020, and for every year to follow. It was a successful way for us to chisel away time with our children.
RELATED POST: Becoming a More Intentional Mom in 2019
Making the COMMITMENT to CONNECT
I am the person who has to write it all down in a plan book, otherwise it doesn’t exist in my mind. So just like a dentist appointment, a work meeting, or a school event, I am setting time aside in my plan book for connection. And since I am taking the time to do it myself, I am going to have my children learn through my example and connect with others as well.
Of course not everything in life requires a slot on a plan book. Yes, there are an over abundance of opportunities to connect without having to schedule it, but the scheduled connection time will help me make it a top priority, even when I feel like saying ‘no’.
What it means to CONNECT?
Connection for me really means human interaction. Taking the time to listen, talk, and share with someone else. I sometimes feel that people are confusing interaction on social media with actual connection. Do I use social media as a tool to share my story with other families? Yes. But I truly crave more than a like or comment on my page. A real hug, a girls night out, a date night with my spouse or even a playdate at the park.
I have been brainstorming this past week on what connection looks like for me in all areas of my life. Like any action plan, writing these ideas down, better helps me stay focused and grounded in what I am trying to do.
Connecting with Myself
Setting aside time each day and week to do WHAT I LOVE. Not worrying about doing things to make others happy, or to appease the masses. Creating my blog, working on my website, taking walks around the block to clear my head, and treating myself to more “ME” days. Finding the things that bring me joy and allowing myself time to enjoy them. Reading a book and starting a gratitude journal are two things I want to begin in January 2020.
As a fire wife, I do not see my husband each and every day. We have been together over 15 years and I can tell you that we connect each and everyday. We are both talkers and will sit and talk together all night long. Some nights we will skip out on TV and just talk. What do we talk about? Everything. Plans for the weekend, dreams for the year, goals, the kids, how we are going to make it all work, parenting, marriage, troubles, frustrations…we just talk, and we love it.
BUT…one thing I want to change this year is the PHONE. The dreaded cell phone is sometimes the first thing I look at in the morning instead of my husband. That is a terrible habit and needs to stop NOW. Time to connect.
Date night is HUGE in our household, and will continue to be in 2020. It might be a lofty goal, but I would like to sneak in at least 2-3 date nights a month. Dave and I typically will look at the calendar at the beginning of each month to schedule our dates.
Connecting with my Children
As I have worked on becoming more intentional with the time I am spending with my kids, I also want to work on connecting with them more too. Talking more. Asking enriching and thought provoking questions, working on challenging tasks together, and maybe even conquering a fear together.
I realized on New Year’s Eve night, as we rang in 2020, that at the start of the next decade (2030) my oldest daughter will be off to college. COLLEGE?! Say what? Although it doesn’t seem possible, it is going to happen. I need to make sure that the time I am spending with my children now truly connects them to me, so that they actually want to spend time with me down the road.
On the docket this year is monthly 1:1 dates with each of my children. My husband and I both agreed to committing the time and energy into these little gifts of time to our kids. I am looking forward to the time together.
RELATED POST: 10 EASY, FUN IDEAS FOR DATES WITH YOUR KIDS
Family time is the best time. The past year I have made more and more decisions based not what is best for others, or accepted by others, but what is best for my family. Spending more quality time at home, family game nights, family service projects, and even family vacations are all things that I want to continue and strengthen in 2020.
Connecting at Home
I love to host and entertain. I love to clean my house and organize it. I love to fill my house with kids playing and making messes. I want to continue to make my home a place where myself and others can connect. It’s often easy to find excuses why you can’t entertain. “My house isn’t big enough.” “My apartment isn’t beautifully decorated.” “I don’t know how to cook.”
BUT guess what?!!! NO ONE CARES. They want to hang out with you. They will happily sit on your couch and eat a frozen pizza off of a paper plate just to HANG OUT WITH YOU! Don’t let your home hold you back from inviting guests into it. Connect. Your true friendships won’t mind if your couches don’t match the curtains.
Connecting with Friend
As fun as it has been to connect with other moms on Instagram, there is nothing like a tried and true, real life, one you can touch, giggle with, share a cocktail with, complain to, and even drop your kids off at their house girlfriend.
In this world of social media, I think many moms find themselves wishing or wanting to be, look, or feel a certain way and so they think that following a certain Instagrammer is all of a sudden going to fill that void for them. TRUST ME, it’s not going to. As a matter of fact, it will probably make you feel that much worse about yourself. I myself have tried to stray away from accounts that make me feel not good enough.
Do yourself a favor this year. CONNECT with those around you. The mom who also has a kindergartener at your son’s school. The friend who always wants to hang out but you never seem to have time. Make the time. Make the connection. Reconnect.
Getting with the girlfriends for TGIF’s, playdates, and even dinner are in my 2020 plans.
Connecting at Work
Not sure what to say here. Haha. I work with kindergarteners, so obviously I am not going to be having serious conversations with them. But one thing I can tell you about my work is that I give 100% each and every day. I go all in when it comes to my job. When I am there I am dedicated and connected to what I am doing.
PUTTING THE PLAN INTO ACTION
Resolutions are not for me. But continuing to reflect and improve as a person, as a wife, as a mother, and as a friend are very much part of who I am. I am constantly trying to better myself. Not just for the new year, but every single day.
In writing this, I am hoping to make myself more accountable to connecting more with the people around me, and also share with you the importance of connecting with your circle more too.
Disconnect to CONNECT.