hi, I found out my son was gone when I was 37 weeks pregant. The pain of having to go through labour and birth knowing he was dead is the worst pain imaginable. He was so perfect. My placenta failed him. I've suffered from severe ptsd since. 3 months after his passing I conceived again. Only to have a missed miscarriage finding out at a scan at 11 weeks. I had to have surgery to remove my baby last month. The pain is unimaginable. Everyday just to get out of bed and keep going for my 5 year old girl is a massive struggle. Everytime it rains it brings back all the trauma of giving birth to my son. The silence was so deadly. My body keeps failing. My partner and me are still not giving up at having our family we dream of. And I'll never let my babies down who are always watching over. When I mention my babies to anyone I get told to get over it and stop talking about it. It makes people feel awkward. But I want people to know about my babies. They matter so much and have shaped me into the strong women I am today.