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Sometimes I am a Crappy Wife

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Dear Husband,

I apologize.

I realize, I haven't always been a good wife.

Well, actually, I've known it for a while. But, I've just been too stuck to admit it.

I know what you might be thinking... I've been a good mom. Sure. I do what I need to do. Sure. I have done my job in The Mom department well. Sure.

But... And here's the big BUT...

I have dropped the ball as your life-partner.

And here's why:

I have spent too much time keeping score.

I have resented you getting to be an adult, while I've felt left in this mom-mode thing.

I have been insecure about my job as a care-taker.

I have been too tired and too frazzled and too distracted; and sometimes don't even have dinner on the table or groceries in the pantry. And at times~I haven't given a damn.

I have acted jealous of your career; and secretly I have resented it. And you.

I have dismissed your parenting skills at times, and thought my way was the only way.

I have been too tired; too insecure; too self-conscious.

I have been so overwhelmed that some days I haven't even bothered to ask you about your day.

At times...

I have juggled and dropped the ball.

I admit it.

And now that I've acknowledge it, I can try to change it.

I'm sure I'll keep messing up. Again. And again.

But; I'm admitting where I've gone wrong (and, as you know, this doesn't come easy for me).

So, maybe this is a good first step?

Next up... perhaps turkey pot pie?!

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