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My Beauty Advice For My Daughters

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A letter to my daughters offering them beauty advice.

DEAR GIRLS,

My first lesson in beauty was standing in Shannon Demas' bathroom watching her mom Sue (Aunt Sue) apply makeup. "You should always look your best," she would explain. I spent hours trying on her high heels, which she kept in a pile beside the door to her master bedroom. "High heels make your legs look skinnier," she would say. She always smelled like perfume and her hair was always curled and set just like Sandy in the movie Grease.

FOR MY DAUGHTERS

I want you to understand beauty comes from within. Beauty is confidence. That said here are some additional tips.

HAIR

Each of you have thick hair. People think it is a blessing, but those people have probably never spent 45 minutes trying to dry horsehair. You have two options: try to dry it yourself and become a sweaty beast in the process or have someone else do the job for you. People are nicer to you when your hair is brushed, but dial it back on the hair mousse and hairspray. Otherwise you should stay away from fireplaces.

CLOTHES

Dress for work like someone who wants a promotion based on their merits, and not the size of their jugs. Yoga pants can be very comfortable, but should not be worn when meeting fancy people like your potential in-laws or the President of the United States.

SHOES

Don't wear open toe sandals if it's been weeks since you've been to a nail salon.

JEWELRY

While you might have beautiful jewelry you don't need to wear it all the same time, unless of course you are a rapper.

PERFUME

It should be worn in moderation unless you have excessive sweating issues.

MAKEUP

Never buy makeup from someone who looks like a clown or a drag queen. If you are dating someone keep your makeup minimal unless you plan on waking up in the middle of the night and reapplying, otherwise your significant other may seem surprised when you emerge from the shower.

I am happy to report you are already becoming budding makeup artists. Your father will pleased to see me tonight when he comes home from work.

beauty


Love,
Mom

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