Teenagers are hard, am I right? Parenting a teen or tween is like wrestling a liger through a dark, mysterious jungle with your eyes closed and one arm tied behind your back. Ligers are sociable creatures when around their friends, but at home tend to camp out in cool and shaded areas behind a mess of ropy vines dangling ceiling to floor. Often, parents must climb over, swing through, hoist up, and slide down these tangly traps, gripping white-knuckle, dripping sweat, hearts full of equal parts fear and hope, just to catch a glimpse of one. Even then, a liger may retreat further, utterly avoidant of beady, curious eyes. If one succeeds, jumps through every hoop and loop with good intentions and a smile, one wrong word can trigger a roar and instant swipe of the claw from a liger on guard, anticipating a parent's approach. Ligers can slice the rickety, already unsteady platform on which a parent stands to shreds, plunging them straight back into the abyss. Or worse, into battle. One never knows what it will be with a liger; rejection or challenge, apathy or rage, gratitude (usually not, but now and then it happens), or mere toleration. Ligers are fierce when irritated, and if you didn't know, parents are the most irritating animals in the jungle.

Parents always want their ligers to pay attention, be respectful, clean up after themselves, eat their vegetables, and play nice with their siblings. Parents have a whole bundle of expectations for ligers, and while these are set to create a healthy, happy life for ligers, it's annoying as hell. Ligers just want to chill out, chat with friends, send snaps, keep up their streaks, sleep in, stay up late, eat messy snacks on the grassy hill, and leave their wrappers and crumbs for their jungle pets to lick up later. Ligers are moody, and there's often no telling what they want, what they need, or who they even are some days. Liony one minute, tigery the next, ligers struggle to understand their inner selves, changing back and forth as they grow and mature. Ligers can display an extensive range of emotions. Parents never know what instigates a mood or why they vacillate so dramatically between easy-going to irritable or snappy to downright crazed. However, asking a liger why can be like taking your life in your own hands. Ligers are known to roll their giant animal eyes and turn a broad cold shoulder to any gentle inquisition, which to a parent is akin to a claw in the heart because you just want to be a part of their lives! It's a cruel world, the jungle, but there are tricks to survival (yours and theirs).

Rules to getting along with a liger:

1. Do not approach a hungry liger. They will eat you.

Hunger checks are a must in the jungle. Ligers often forget to eat while charging blindly through the trees. They can lose time when focused intently on a favorite activity or game and fail to seek proper nutrition. Existing only in captivity and untrained in hunting prey, ligers often binge on sugary treats and sodas, leading to hunger and irritability. So before embarking on any topics of conversation such as homework, screen time, behavior, language, truancy, or bedtime, ensure that your liger is well fed and maybe even a little dozy. A satiated liger, when confronted, is much less likely to bite your face off.

2. Do not expect a liger to be a sheep. Ligers will always be ligers.

Sheep follow directions and fall in step with the herd. Ligers do not and will not (unless the herd is a group of peers doing stuff the liger already wants to do). If its parents asking them to do anything else, the answer is no. Ligers are at the top of the food chain. They eat whatever they want, sleep whenever they want, and don't care if anyone likes it or not. That is who they are and expecting them to want to do anything else is only setting yourself up for anger, disappointment, and a massive battle with a liger. If you don't like to fight with ligers, because ouch, they'll eat you, remember that ligers are who they are and need room to roam. They thrive on space and control, being allowed to make their own decisions (even when those decisions lead to massive mistakes). Do not fear, though. Ligers have been known to ask for help. But when a Liger needs your help, it's not your job to herd because you don't have sheep. If you forget this tiny fact and attempt to solve problems for them, your liger will instantly resent you and push you away, traipsing back into their cold dark cave, disgusted with your ineptitude for knowing anything. Ligers are confusing, I know.

3. Be a zoologist.

So, shed the herder mentality and adopt the mindset of a zoologist for a gentler, more reciprocal relationship with your liger. As a zoologist, you study your liger, taking notes on their habits, getting to know them on a deeply personal level. You ask questions and nod your head, even if you don't understand. You learn everything there is to know about your liger because each one is special and unique and bears beautiful individual traits different from all other ligers in the world. Zoologists are not experts or enforcers, like herders. They are researchers. You may sometimes be able to teach a nugget of knowledge or offer a sage piece of advice as a zoologist but understand that your liger may not want to listen. Don't take it personally. Ligers don't want to hurt your feelings, but they need to do things their way. That's just how ligers are. Once a zoologist has ensured the welfare of a liger, providing food, shelter, and safety (physical, emotional, mental, spiritual), they get to rest, relax, and take time to simply watch the liger run, exploring the world as they are born to do.

4. Enjoy your liger. They grow up no matter what.

Parents need to set boundaries and rules to keep the jungle safe and healthy for all the animals sharing the wonders of nature. If safety is in place, it's okay to let your liger set the tone for what they want and need. Give yourself a break from the nitty-gritty expectations and let yourself enjoy the precious few years you have with them on the same dirt floor. Compliment your liger's unique stripes, marvel in their wild mane, giggle at their quirky roars. Listen to their jungle tales or sit with them in silence if that's what they prefer. Look with wonder at your liger, even when they're not acting totally wonderful. Ligers only grow older every day, and how you make them feel will guide them into adulthood and remain with them forever.

Ligers were made to roar, snap, forget their manners, be messy, untamed, and reckless. They can unleash their wild without warning but as a professional zoologist, try your best to keep yours intact. Let them roar, then be the outstretched arms your liger curls into once they are exhausted and worn and remember they're yours. The rest of the world may be a freaking circus, but home is a jungle, and ligers love the jungle.