Kids today have an exceptional amount of homework. Sure, they need it. The world is very different from when I was a kid. Homework is one of those obstacles that everybody has to endure, but ultimately doing it or not doing it will pave the foundation for greater success in life. (I’m sorry, did I just say that? After seven years of raising twin boys, I now realize it was a bad time to give up drinking. I will have to remedy that situation with some festive libations so that I can get back to my normal slightly left-of-center view and stop talking in folksy sensibilities). But, I digress.

Ok, so it took me a couple of years to hit my stride in academia. Actually, the first two grades are blurs at this point. (Notwithstanding, last century is quickly becoming more of a blur the more we move away from it). By third grade, I was getting my A’s on. I also seem to remember talk about my skipping a grade because of my intellectual prowess. But, it was decided, to leave me in my grade to stay with my compadres whom I had become close to.

Of course, my ego has never officially caught up to intellect.

Nevertheless, I didn’t have much competition in my own family with my seven brothers and sistes and I blew them away academically. Hey, what can I say? Of course, I didn’t mention that, except for Albert, we all have Masters degrees. Mine wasn’t in a lame major, such as 16^th Century Russian Literature or Phys Ed, my Masters is in Accounting which is exponentially harder than ALL of theirs combined. Just saying. (Can you tell I’m the youngest?) But, I digress.

Which brings me back to my two little buggers, Archibald and Mortimer (not their real names).

Archibald was diagnosed with a learning disability last school year and is receiving extra special attention in his second grade. However, his guardians of the galaxy teachers do not spare him any of the tribulations of homework. In reality, he gets as much as Morty. The difference is that Archie doesn’t always appreciate homework. He runs away from it. When I catch him, which can require up to three hours of non-stop chasing and a National Guard alert, he is starting to actually get into it, all seventy-three pages of math and spelling he as to knock out EVERY NIGHT.

Morty is a little bit more independent. I say, Morty, go read a book and he actually DOES IT. HE READS A BOOK on his own! I say, do your math problems and he DOES THOSE, too! Of course, after six hours of doing his homework, EVERY NIGHT, he tends to lose some concentration and fall asleep. But, I don’t blame him. I lose interest in homework after about twenty minutes. Hey, I paid my dues in school. I can’t be expected to ALWAYS be excited about their homework, too. After all, I help them EVERY NIGHT. SIX HOURS! TWO KIDS! You do the math.

Ok, ok, mommy helps out, too, occasionally. She is the virtual task master, hence the name Sergeant Major Mommy (SMM). Would you believe that I work a couple of nights a week, so she has to bear the brunt of the homework load on her shoulders on those nights. But still, I help the little buggers with their homework.

This begs the question: do they really NEED all this homework? I refer back to my earlier statement about doing better in life, and while that may be true, the little buggers ARE only seven. The flip side of the equation is that the teachers have to read and grade ALL the homework that they require and is handed in. What goes around, comes around, is all I can say to those teachers.

And to my sons, the little buggers, I say Do something with your life. Make me proud. Do your homework so you can get a good job and so daddy can retire.